I Won't Let You Go
by saintnorsinner
Summary: Living with best friend Martin seemed like such a good idea when she was 18, but Cassie Milner starts to become aware of just how much she has to put up with to keep him in her life.
1. CHAPTER 1

CHAPTER ONE

Hey guys! So I decided to move this fiction onto a more fiction based site, and even though I was doing well on Tumblr and it was a little bit more convenient, I've decided to make the switch ASAP. I hope it doesn't stop you guys from reading my fiction, as I will be posting the links to the new chapters on my personal tumblr page! Of course, I will upload all the chapters from the original tumblr page first before I update the fiction, so bear with me. I love you all! x

PS. By switching to , it gives me a bigger platform to write more. Meaning that I'll be able to make the chapters longer without completely overwriting on Tumblr and making the page look a complete mess!

* * *

It was perfect.

The sleeveless lace bodice, the diamante detailing, the fishtail bottom… I could have gone on for days.

I was never a fan of big, traditional weddings in which a couple spend thousands to walk down the aisle of a church, even when they're not religious. In fact, weddings in general and the whole thought of planning one was enough to make me toss and turn in the night. However, as I stood outside that store, my best friends arm firmly wrapped around my shoulders, I began to wonder if I'd have a wedding.. even if it was just to wear that dress. It was hard to imagine myself panicking about caterers and bouquets, as for so long I had my heart set on eloping. Yet, the longer I stood there, fawning over the perfect dress, I felt my reluctance to a wedding, weakening.

"I know there's something about girls and weddings and stuff. But, you've been stood gawping at that dress for almost ten minutes", Martin piped up after a while, his lips meeting the straw of his milkshake as he waited patiently for a response.

"Don't you think it's amazing though?", I sighed, my eyes flicking between Martin's gaze and the dress.  
"I do. And I think if you stopped being such a stubborn arse one day, you might get to wear it. But right now, neither you, nor I, are getting married, so fawning over this dress will achieve nothing for the pair of us", He spoke again, his tone stern and forceful.  
"How depressing…", I let my attention fall to the floor as Martin slowly pulled me away from the shop window.

We walked, side by side, his arm around me down the back streets of the city centre, my mind still set on that dress.  
"I have something to ask you.. before I forget", He muttered, slowly pulling me towards the edge of the curb so he could drop his milkshake into a dustbin.

"Go on…", I kept my eyes on the path as we walked, his arm layed loosely in the crook of my neck, my hand gripping around his waist.  
"Do you remember when Andy stayed with us a few months back?", He questioned.

Oh, I remembered alright. Andy had been bought by Martin's team in January, as a replacement for the now Chelsea man, Fernando Torres. He had needed some place to stay until he got his feet on the ground and managed to find himself a place of his own. Martin, being the beautiful person that he is, offered our spare room on a plate to Andy for a few weeks. I didn't mind. I mean, why would I? Andy was a decent guy and Martin was happy. Win-win situation, right? That's what I thought. However, one drunken night back at the house changed my relationship with Andy. But I don't think I'll go into detail with that one…

"Yeah, I do", I responded. Martin didn't know what went on between us, and I never wanted him to know.  
"Well, how would you feel about having another lodger living with us for a few weeks?", His eyes pleaded with mine as we made our way through enterance to the carpark.

"I don't know, Martin..", I sighed, letting my head fall onto his shoulder as we walked under the dim lights. I couldn't, myself, understand why I was so reluctant to say yes. I put it down to the fact that I wasn't so stubborn with what I wanted with the dress, and felt like I had to make up for it some other way.

"Come on, Cass", His plea was stronger this time, his arm squeezing me to his side.  
"Why can't he stay in a hotel?", I didn't mean to suggest it, or even think it. I was being unintentionally stubborn.  
"Because it's a right farce, Cassandra", He grumbled, his arm loosening on me now as we reached his Range Rover. He stopped me at the boot of the car, not letting me go any further until he got what he wanted from me.

"Look, is this to do with that dress?", Martin queried as I slumped against the boot of the car, my attention turning to him when he spoke.  
"No, for christ sake Martin. Why must there always be a reason?", I snapped, again unintentionally. Indstanty I felt guilty. There was no need for my behaviour.

"I'm sorry, babe. I don't know why I snapped..", I sighed as I wrapped my arms around his waist, his arms falling loosely around my head, the height difference evident.  
"No, I'm sorry. I can't just expect you to be okay with having a stranger live in our home", He apologised, planting a kiss on my forehead and sighing before starting off towards the drivers side of the car. I wasn't okay with him apologising, far from it. Why did he put up with me, again?


	2. CHAPTER 2

CHAPTER TWO

* * *

I layed out on the sofa the following weekend, my eyes focusing on the television set and my mind on what I'd have to do to get Martin talking again. It had been a week since we'd had a proper conversation — well, if you can call it that. It had been the same everyday since; I'd come in from work and Martin would be out of the house, or tucked away in the games room until the early hours of the morning. As guilty as I felt about the entire situation, I couldn't help but also feel that he was throwing a petty tantrum. Sure, I took full responsibility for the fact I'd snapped at him for no reason at all, but he was so wrapped up in making me suffer that I think he'd forgot to even acknowledge me at all.

It was as though none of this was effecting him at all, and as though it was easy being mad at me. Earlier in the day he'd managed to get himself through the door and up to his bedroom to sleep, and I'd only found out after seeing the gym bag and muddy football boots on the marble floor of the hall.

'_It's the least I can do… right?_', I wasn't entirely convinced as I managed to drag myself from the sofa and into the hall, the muddy boots laying at my feet, the size of them some comparison to my dainty little feet. I knew that even if I had managed to make the boots sparkle, Martin wouldn't be anywhere near okay with me again, but it was a start?

Grabbing one of the brillo pads from the cupboard under the sink, I lathered the pad with a little soap and got to work removing the thick layer of dirt that covered his boots. My eyes caught a glimpse of his blackberry sitting on the marble top, before falling back to my hands and watching what they were doing. I'd never once cleaned Martin's boots, as he usually did it himself before training and I understood why Martin usually got so worked up when the dirty water splashed back at him, and covered his clean clothes.

Buzzing across the marble top, Martin's blackberry distracted me yet again from cleaning, the screen lighting up with a notification.

**_1 New Message - Hendo._**

Hendo? That was a new one, I thought. I had believed I was caught up with Martin's friends — clearly, not. Honestly, he had way too many. Some of them I knew he could trust, others just there because of who he was.

I didn't feel a single bit of regret as I picked up the handset, quickly unlocking the keypad and getting to work on reading the message;

_Mate, no worries. You need to calm down! The lass has every right to not want me there.. chill, yeah? x_

A lump formed in my throat as I leant back on the island, my mind going into panic mode over what Martin could have said.

_I'm sorry again mate. Cass is just being a bit funny with me lately. I love her, but sometimes I can't help but feel like a doormat x_

I quickly flicked off the message and slid the phone back onto the marble top. I'd read enough.


	3. CHAPTER 3

CHAPTER THREE

* * *

I had to act normal for the time being, at least until I had got Martin where I wanted him and before I even thought about bringing up what the message read. I almost felt betrayed, somewhat humiliated by the fact he'd gone behind my back to give a complete false impression of me to someone I'd never met.

Letting the extremely sharp knife slide through the pasta and beef, I cut a hearty piece of lasagne from the glass baking dish before placing it onto a clean plate, along with a side of garlic bread.

I quickly served the table, placing out all the cutlery and pouring a wine into both glasses. When I was satisfied with my work, hoping the effort would weaken Martin, I swiftly moved through the house and clambered up the staircase. As soon as I reached the top of the stairs, I caught a glimpse of Martin's unconscious body layed out across his bed to my left. The door was completely wide open, his body stretched out across the bed on his front, his arms and legs spread eagle. As annoyed as I was at him about his rather childish tantrum, I couldn't help but think of how beautiful he was whilst he slept.

"Martin?", I whispered as I grew closer to the end of his bed, "Martin?.. I've made you some tea babe, get up". He began to stir a little as I shook his leg slowly. I didn't fancy making eye contact with him, but instead turned around and retreated back down to the kitchen before an awkward situation could be formed.

Sitting down at the table, I waited. Martin soon followed, wiping his eyes quickly noticing my attempt at cleaning his boots.

"What happened to these?", He questioned as he lifted them from the floor, one of the boots partially cleaned and the other untouched. His face was a picture of confusion, his brows creasing together as he looked at me.

"Oh, so he speaks?", Sarcasm dripped from my comment, his already annoyed expression growing ever more annoyed.  
"Don't start, Cass", He pleaded, picking up the half clean boot and the brillo pad from earlier.

"You haven't uttered a word to me in over a week.. have you finished with your childish spat or am I going to have to carry on treading on egg shells around you?", My voice grew ever louder as I replayed the last week over in my head. The ignorance, the snidey looks.. I was genuinely tired of it.

"Are we really arguing right now?", Martin caught eye contact with me, his expression angrier, his cheeks red.  
"Why? Do you feel like a push over, Martin?", I raised my voice as I got closer to him, "Do you feel like a _doormat_?".

"What the fuck are you talking about Cassandra?", He bellowed, his voice echoing through the room, startling me.

"Don't give me that bullshit, Martin! I read your text messages…", I knew telling him I'd been through his phone wouldn't ease the matter, but he needed to know. And I wanted to know why he didn't feel like he could talk to me.

"You did WHAT?", He dropped the boot onto the floor, the metal studs colliding with the tiles as he turned his whole body to face me.

"You were being such a little-I just had to see what the fuck was going on..", I threw back at him as he raised his hands to hold onto my arms, "You can't even talk to me about how you feel..".

"Don't you dare try and spin this on me", He exclaimed, his voice was agitated and angry, the tone stern,"You completely humiliate me in public by screaming in my face, you go through my phone then wonder why I think you walk all over me?".

"I never meant for it to be like that… I swear", It was no use. I could feel the tears forming and he was still pissed off at me.

He sighed, shaking his head. I hesitated in moving any closer, not wanting to be rejected by him but also wanting to wrap my arms around his waist. I went with the latter, moving slowly as he leant over the island, his breathing loud as he tried to calm himself down. I looped my arms slowly around his waist, my skin rubbing against the fabric of his training shirt and his toned abdomen underneath. Letting my head fall to lay on his back as he stood up straight, I held on for dear life, in fear that he'd push me away.

He gripped my hands, peeling them away one at a time as he slid from my grasp. Turning to push me away, his eyes locked with mine as the first tear trickled down my cheek. I was so mad at him, angry, frustrated - yet he had every right to be feeling like _I _did, and_ I_ had no right whatsoever, really. We'd never had an argument like this, or come to a time in our relationship where he felt the need to hide his feelings from me. Everything made me felt nauseous; the way things had gone, the way they were going.. it just seemed to be constantly on a downward spiral.

He let go of my hands, letting them fall to my sides. How did we get here?

"You know I wish you'd talked to me when you started feeling like a pushover. I can't change how I am if you don't tell me what is going on in your head.. you're my be-", I didn't anticipate it. I knew I was rambling, but I didn't presume the only way to shut me up was to close my mouth off altogether. He gripped my head with his hands firmly, forcefully pushing his face to mine, his lips crushing mine.

"M-m-martin", I mumbled as he continued to kiss me,"Stop!". He instantly let go of me, his eyes dropping to the floor and his fingers threading their way through his already messy hair.

"I-I.. I shouldn't have done that, I'm sorry", He apologized, his eyes glistening under the dim lights of the kitchen now, as they lost their anger.

"Just… just go ring your friend, tell him he's welcome to stay..", I immediately tried to change the subject, almost in denial about what had just happened.

"No it's fin-",

"Go! Before I change my mind", He didn't respond, only gathered his blackberry and ran off into the hall as if everything was back to normal, and that what had just happened, hadn't.

I leant against the island, gathering my footing. What wasn't he telling me?


	4. CHAPTER 4

CHAPTER FOUR

* * *

I sunk into the cream leather interior of Martins car, letting the chill Mersey air hit my face as we drove. Martin had come to some agreement with our soon-to-be new roommate, and we were on our way to Martin's favourite restaurant to grab a bite to eat, have an introduction and let Martin and 'Hendo' catch up. I was hoping that was his nickname, and that for the sake of my faith in humanity, his parents hadn't named him that.

"You could look a little enthusiastic about tonight..", Martin muttered as he kept his eyes on the road, his teeth gripping his lips as he waited for a response.

"I am. I am. I'm just.. hungry, that's all", I tried to assure him, not even knowing the reason why a frown was present on my face or why I didn't feel upto this whole 'event' and was hoping the night would go faster than anticipated.

Martin soon pulled into a parking space on the high street, opting to leave his car out front instead of driving to the local car park.

"Come on.. he doesn't bite", Martin tried to assure me as he clambered out of the drivers seat. _He_ wasn't what I was worrying about. In fact, I didn't know why I was worrying in the first place. I slid out of the car quickly behind Martin, making sure to firmly shut the passenger door before Martin hit the button on his keys to securely lock the vehicle.

We made our way inside the restaurant, Martin heading in first and myself trailing behind, probably lost behind Martin's height. That was one of the perks of being best friends with a guy who was six foot three - I always had someone to hide behind if situations got complicated, embarassing or all of the above.

"Where is he?", I scrambled into the booth, my short legs pushing my five foot five frame onto the leather chair, Martin sliding onto it with ease.

"He'll be here, don't you worry", Martin threw me a small smile before sitting back on the chair next to me, his blackberry occupying his hands. He began to type away violently on the keys, seemingly somewhat frustrated.

I picked up the menu, and began to scan it for something delicious. Of course, Martin would tell you that everything at his beloved Nando's was delicious, and that you could pick anything and be perfectly satisfied. However, Martin had an aquired taste for chicken, something that we'd always have in the house and something we ate more days than not, yet he still insisted we come to the one place that specialises in it.

"There he is", Martin called after I'd read the entire appertizer menu, his left hand lifting in the air to signal someone over from the other side of the room. I tried to peer over the top of the chair in front of us, but being as short as I was, it was no use. I sat back in my seat, my eyes dropping to the main course menu's of wraps and chicken breasts. Everything looked so delicious; the chicken breast fillet with fries, the peri-peri chicken and the gorgeous face that stood at the end of our table as my eyes diverted from the folded card in my hands….

"Mate, it's been too long", Martin beamed as he stood up, his arms wrapped firmly around the shoulders of the other guy. He returned the gesture, wrapping his arms around Martin tightly as they both settled into the embrace.

"It was last August, wasn't it?", The guy piped up, his accent thick and extremely noticeable amongst the Liverpudlians that had occupied the rest of the restaurant.

"I think so..", Martin nodded as they both let go, "This is Cassandra by the way. Cass, this is Jordan, or Hendo as he's known in the changing rooms".

So the famous 'Hendo'. You could say I somewhat blamed him for the fact me and Martin had the argument, yet when my eyes flickered between the cardboard menu and his face, I found myself forgiving him. He hadn't uttered a word, merely looked at me with a smile and I was already moving on.

"Just call me Cassie", I painted on a smile as I leant over to shake his hand, his eyes fixed on my face as I stared at our handshake.

"Cassie, thank you for taking me in", He beamed, the smile spread across his face completely blowing my mind. I tried to refrain from stuttering or spitting as I talked, acknowledging the fact I'd grown unbelievably nervous over the previous few moments.

He grinned again, this time Martin had his face burried in the menu. I looked at Jordan again, this time _he _had his face burried in the menu, only giving me chance to completely take in his astounding appearance. Maybe it was the blonde slick of hair that he'd styled himself, or his ocean blue eyes, or the fact he kept biting on his bottom lip as he focused hard on the menu. Whatever it was, I found myself regretting not taking him in sooner.

"You ready to order babe?", Martin called after a few minutes passed, my eyes quickly diverting from appreciating Jordan's face, back to the menu in quick time to hide my embarassment.

"Uhm yeah. I'll just have the flame grilled butterfly chicken breast, with chips and an orange juice", I managed to get out without a single pause, much to my delight that I hadn't stumbled over a single word and that I could now relax.

"Sweet! Jordan?", Martin quizzed as Jordan dropped his menu into the middle of the table, seemingly sure that he knew exactly what he wanted. It only made me believe that he was as big a Nando's fan as Martin was, and that my hope of cooking something other than chicken on a regular basis was now out of the window.

"Double chicken breast in a pitta with chips and an orange juice, mate", Jordan responded almost instantly, sitting back in his chair as Martin shuffled from the chair next to me before getting up to his feet.

"I'll be back in a few", Martin called before he headed off to order, leaving Jordan and I at the table together. _Alone_.

It was something I didn't want. I was already in a vulnerable position as it was, and the last thing I needed was to be left alone with the one guy I didn't want to be left alone with. _Well, unless it were in a bedroom_ … No, Cassie, **stop**! I tried to shake my mind of the thoughts, only for them to be replaced by dirtier ones as I tried to hide my face.

"So, uhm.. I owe you one", Jordan piped up after a few minutes, his gaze locking with mine as I looked up to address him. I felt sick to my stomach, nerves riddling my entire body as the peachy colour of embrassment had now drained from my cheeks.

"For what?", I looked at Jordan, and then to the bar, then to Jordan and then to the bar. I didn't want to seem rude.

"For taking me in. I didn't expect anyone to offer like Martin did.. and I know there was a situation, but I'm just thankful that you were okay with it. Nothing could make settling in easier than being around people that know the city well so.. thanks!", He grinned at me again, this time, his teeth showing and the skin around his eyes creasing.

"Really.. it's no problem", I sent a smile back his way, hoping that was the last of the talking from him, and as much as I was appreciating his face, I wasn't appreciating what his voice, accent and way of words was doing to me..

"Are you and Martin going to the preseason party?", Jordan asked, his accent forcing him to pronounce words different, his lips curling at the words yet his eyes still stayed fixed on mine.

"I'd believe so. When is it?", I didn't fancy continuing the conversation, but like I said, I didn't want to be rude.

"Saturday night, at the Hilton", He nodded as he looked up and down, from me, to the table and back again.

"Martin hasn't mentioned it", I shrugged as I reached into my jean pocket for my mobile, trying to distract my eyes from burning holes in Jordan's face, "He best not be hiding it from me, or we will have a serious problem..". I couldn't help but laugh a little at my own remark, Jordan joining in.

"Well, we only found out about it yesterday..", Jordan muttered as I slid the mobile onto the table, "Should be a fun night though".

"What should?", Whether it was because of lack of awareness or the fact I had been staring at Jordan incessantly, I didn't noticed Martin return to the table. I put it down to the latter, knowing full well that I could barely keep my eyes off of him.

"Preseason party", Jordan informed him as Martin returned to his seated position beside me.

"Ahh yeah! You want to go?", Martin turned to me instantly, almost looking for approval as his eyes searched my face.

"Of course I want to go.. it'll be good to see your friends again", I grinned at Martin as he sat back in the chair.

"Great, we'll make a night of it then", Martin went back to looking at his menu, something he'd always done after ordering each time we'd been in that restaurant. I let my eyes fall from focusing on Martin to Jordan, who was now biting on his bottom lip again as he tapped away at the keys on his mobile.

There was something about the way he did that. It was driving me completely _insane_.


	5. CHAPTER 5

CHAPTER FIVE

* * *

The smell of freshly cooked bacon filled my nostrils as I flipped over the rashers in the frying pan. I'd lathered it with oil, no concern for the saturated fat content, and waited as the meat turned a gorgeous brown. I let the bacon continue cooking for a few seconds before I removed my dressing gown; the heat in the kitchen rising and my vest and shorts providing a perfect escape from the sticky and humid atmosphere.

"That smells amazing", the less familiar accent resounded around the room as Jordan entered. There was never going to be a time when I'd be prepared for that image, as Jordan casually walked into the room in nothing, I presumed, but a towel. I stood with the spatula in my hand, the bacon sizzling away in the pan and my thought process only consisting of skin, contact and dirty, dirty thoughts.

_Shake it off, Cassie._

A splash of liquid instantly caught the skin of my neck, the initial pain subsiding until I woke from my day dream to realise the oil from the bacon had splashed out of the pan.

"F*ck!", I screeched, the seering pain on my skin almost too much to bare, the burning sensation forcing my eyes to well up with tears as I stood back from the pan.

"What happened?", He'd hurried over from the otherside of the island, his hands caressing my back as I arched over in agony.

"oil splashed up from the pan and hit me on the neck..", I stood up straight as to give Jordan my attention, only to be met with that same image I was trying to erase earlier. _What I would do…_

I was being dragged against my will out of the kitchen and into the downstairs bathroom.

"Kneel down..", Jordan demanded.  
"What?", _Mind in the gutter. Mind in the gutter. Mind in the gutter.  
_"You need to run it under cool water.. it's this or the sink", His tone was stern, forceful. What was he doing to me? I immediately followed orders, dropping to my knees directly in front of him before turning my head to the side and leaning on the side of the bath. He lent over the bath to collect the shower head, immediately flicking the setting mid-way between really cold and moderate.

He tested the water with his hands before swiftly moving my hair out of the way. The cool water was somewhat soothing against my skin, the feeling of burning diminishing with every passing second and the pain subsiding immediately.

"How long do I have to sit like this?", I groaned, my legs in a mangled mess as my neck layed bent over the side of the bath in an awkward position. I waited for a response, my lack of patience wearing wafer thin.

I lifted my hand to his occupied wrist when I got no response, and with one swift movement flicked it over. The initial shock on his face sent me into a fit of laughter, his body immediately jumping back from the splashes of water.

"Oh, is that how we're playing it?", He raised both eyebrows, his face dripping profusely with water and a smirk evident across his lips. . It was almost as if I knew what he was going to do, and yet I stood there, still as you like, whilst he sprayed me with freezing cold water.

I gripped a hold of the shower head with everything I had, my strength nothing in comparison to his as the water sprayed everywhere. I felt it spray in my face again, the cool liquid soaking my hair thoroughly this time and my white vest. Jordan grappled my waist with one of his arms, completely controlling my movement. Nerves were nowhere to be seen, felt or heard in that moment, but the sexual tension, for me anyway, was still extremely evident. There wasn't anything stopping me gripping one of the folds of his towel and tearing it from his waist, revealing all except my own fear of rejection.

"Jordan! Stop, please, I'm sorry! Jordan!", I screeched as an arm sweeped me up from the floor, a laugh vibrating through his throat as he put me down into the tub. I tried my hardest to wriggle from his grasp, knowing he had double the strength I did.

"Oh, so now we're apologizing?", He laughed, his hair had somehow become dishevelled and messy. Well, dishevelled and messy for Jordan. I didn't let him get away with putting me in the bath like a child and instantly gripped my hands around his neck to pull him in the bath with me. _Well, on top of me. How was that towel STILL holding on?_

"You think you're so strong, eh?", I smirked as he grabbed the shower head again, spraying it directly into my face as I tried to undermine him.

When I'd managed to rid my eyes of any stray droplets of water, I opened them to find Jordan layed beside me in the tub.

"How's the scald?", He chuckled to himself, the most adorable smile finding his lips as he threw a wink my way, "It looks like a love bite..".

"If people ask.. I'll tell them it was you", I bluffed, Jordan obviously going along with the story as his face was now a vision of disgust.

"Would it be so bad if I gave you a love bite?", His expression was straight now, his tone deep and slow.

"Don't you think they're a little tacky?", I shrugged, my gaze meeting his as he waited for my to finish talking.

"I guess so..", He nodded, his eyes not moving from my face for a second.

I layed quiet, watching him intently as he tugged on his bottom lip with his teeth repeatedly. I could feel the nerves returning, the knot in my stomach tugging and tugging tighter the longer I looked at him. He was a real masterpiece — if that's possible. Everything from his smile to his body, his eyes to his ears to his nose to his lips…

"Smile for me?", He cropped up after a few seconds, obviously noticing my concentration as I tried my hardest to point out his weak point.

"I hate my smile", I shrugged, catching his gaze again.

"Come on..", He smiled at me, his teeth showing as it stretched from ear to ear, "Please?".

I quickly previewed my smile, giving it everything I had in hope that he wouldn't ask again. I kept my arms folded, scared that if I let them fall loose they'd fall and hit _something_ in the process.

"So.. what's your boyfriend like?", My mind went into overdrive, not expecting what he'd asked.

"I don't have a b-", The feeling of being cut off mid-sentence was familiar to me, yet I couldn't care less as to where the conversation was going or what he'd say next.

He gripped my hip with one hand, sliding me across the damp tub floor and closer to his body. His kisses were sincere, soft and delicate — almost angelic. I couldn't fault it, and I could have laid in that bath tub for the rest of the day if he'd let me. His lips found their way to my jaw, caressing and tugging on the skin of my neck lightly, driving me insane.

"Will you let me take you out sometime?", He stopped the kissing for a few seconds as he spoke, before his teeth began to nibble at my earlobe.

"Hmmhmm", I mumbled as I relaxed into the tub, letting his lips do all the work.

"Perfect", He grinned from ear to ear before placing his hand on my butt cheek. His lips pushed against mine for a few seconds, before he pulled away _again_. What was it with him?

Before I could understand what had happened, he had clambered out of the tub, towel and all.

"Is that it?", I growled at him as he leaned over the bath.

"It is, dear. Now, I'll finish off that bacon.. and _you_ can finish _you_ off..", Planting one more kiss, he shot me a wink. _Did he just go from dud to stud_?


	6. CHAPTER 6

CHAPTER SIX

* * *

My eyes fluttered open, the blinds on the roof windows blocking out the sunlight as I found myself forever thankful that Martin had had them installed. I wasn't in the least bit tired, or annoyed, or happy, or… I couldn't put a word on what I felt at that particular moment. I tossed and turned in the sheets, my body clock telling me it was now time to get up as I tried to force myself to get back to sleep.

"Cass?", The whisper came over the rustling of the sheets, startling me a little as I sighed into my pillow. I arched my neck, peering over the mountains of fabric that covered me only for my eyes to be met with a fresh faced Martin.

"Hmm?", I muttered as I kept my neck arched, Martin standing straight in the door way wearing his familiar training gear.

"I've made you some breakfast", There was something awkward about the situation, and it wasn't as if there was a reason to be. I mean, we'd cleared all that up, hadn't we? That moment of madness on Martin's part had been swept under the rug and forgot about, hadn't it? So why the awkward moment?

"Thanks, I guess", I grinned at him, my neck starting to ache before I pushed myself up into a full sitting position.

"There's something waiting downstairs for you as well..", He threw a smile my way before nodding and turning away.

I waited a few moments before I started to clamber out of the bed, trying to show that I wasn't at all too eager to see what Martin had cooked for breakfast or what was waiting for me. Surprises were my weakness.

I slipped into my slippers before grabbing my dressing gown from the back of my dressing table chair. If it was up to me I'd have laid in bed all day, but it was Saturday; game day. First one of the season, and the day my social weekends would now cease to exist. Martin wouldn't notice either; his mind staying focused on football and only football for the next nine months, much like every season prior.

I stumbled down the stairs, my enthusiasm for the day disappearing the longer I stayed conscious. The smell of burnt cheese filled my nostrils as I reached the marble floor of the hall. Typical Martin, I thought. It was a change having him cook breakfast; I was used to getting up early hours to put together something deliscious but healthy for Martin knowing he'd be out for at least half of the day. It would usually be followed by me sprawling out on the sofa for the remainder of the day until my late shift started; something I hadn't experienced in a while and it was somewhat frustrating that I couldn't escape this house to the realms of a dingy bar in the middle of the city centre.

"So, what is this surprise?", I shuffled into the kitchen, slouching as always as I buried my hands in my pockets.

"Cassie?", This time a not so familiar voice called my name, the low volume of it suggesting it had come from the other side of the room. I looked up instantly, searched the room for a suspect. Martin stood still, leaning against the island as something sizzled away in the pan and his eyes stayed firmly on my being.

As my eyes fell to the being of someone I'd not seen in over a year, my lack of self control became evident as I threw my arms into the air, "CHARLIE!".

She stood immediately as I approached, her arms wide open as I flung myself at her.

"What are you doing here?", I breathed, my arms squeezing every last breath out of her.

"Dying… apparently", She coughed, pushing at my abdomen to get me to loosen the grip. I let go imminantly, standing and letting her have a breather. She hadn't changed a bit; her blonde locks still flowing down over her shoulders, the smile that I loved to see etched across her cheeks as she stared at me.

"What, no 'how've you been?' or 'why has it been so long?'", Charlie frowned, a smirk dancing across her lips as she tried her hardest to be stern with me.

"We'll get to that… now, how? when? why didn't you tell me?", I butted into her complaints, trying to find an answer as to why.

"Well, I phoned up last weekend whilst you were sleeping, and said I'd call back but Martin had a hidden agenda. He kinda coaxed me into taking some time off from Uni in an attempt to get you out of the house", Charlie grinned as she threw herself back on the sofa.

"I go out..", I argued, my case hardly plausible as the stubborn nature in me shone through.

"Hardly. Me taking you to work and bringing you back again isn't exactly getting out of the house, Cass..", He sighed as he set out plates on the island, "Not to mention, you gave in to having Jordan stay, so I owed you one..".

"You really did this?", I started to walk towards the island, unaware of what I was doing or why. I was appreciative enough of having my breakfast made for me, and then this.

"Yeah. You deserve it", He beamed down at me from his rather tall frame, a smile painted across his face as he pulled me in for an embrace.

"Thank you", I squeezed his chest tight as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders, his face burying in my hair. Even though I was totally cool with the situation that was me and Martin, there had been an odd feeling of tension and awkwardness hanging over every situation since. I didn't want to bring it up or mention it to him as Martin was never good with confrontation, yet as I stood, breathing in his scent, I felt the need to apologise for how I'd been, regardless of the fact I hadn't done anything wrong.

"So, what time does the game start?", I muttered into Martin's chest, my voice muffling under the fabric of his clothes.

"3 pm. But, if you wanna avoid the hussle and bussle of opening day..", That's when it clicked, ".. your best bet is to get there for around half past 1".

"Will you come to the game with me?", I beamed at Charlie, the idea of having my best girlfriend attending a game with me was almost too good to turn down.

She nodded whilst smirking, "It's a good job I brought my shirt isn't it?".

"Oh, bloody hell. I didn't know she was a fan, Cass..", Martin laughed as he finished dishing out the food; omellette with cheese on toast. It actually looked.. edible.

"You didn't know?", He shook his head, "Who do you think I tell all my footballer fantasies to?".

Martin stood smirking as he folded his toast in two, before picking the plate up and holding it under his mouth to catch any stray crumbs when he bit into it. I hurried over to Charlie's suitcase to collect it before taking my best friends hand into mine and tugging her along with me.

"What about your breakfast?", Martin yelled as we headed out of the room.  
"We'll make it up to you", I responded instantly as I continued to drag Charlie.

"Fine", Martin called after the pair of us as we reached the stairs, "Two hours girls!".

"Don't worry, we won't want to miss the bending and lunges, would we?", Charlie yelled back, a sly smile present on her face as I began to laugh.

We soon reached the top of the stairs, both of us walking slowly into my bedroom as I managed to catch a sneaky eye of Jordan layed across his bed. I didn't stop, however, but instead dragged Charlie into my room quickly to try and stop any questions.

"You changed your room again?", Charlie frowned as she stood looking around the mint green and chocolate room, her eyes soon fixing on the built in wardrobe that took up the entire back wall.

"You can't live with Martin and have the same colour scheme for longer than two years", I laughed as I sat back on my bed, leaning on the leather headboard as Charlie soon joined me, "He might look and seem like a chilled out boy.. but he's so obsessed with making sure things are perfect".

"So, who's this kid that's living with you now?", Charlie piped up as she clambered onto the bed, laying on her front as grabbed a magazine from my bedside cabinet.

"Who? Jordan?", Charlie shrugged, "Oh, he's one of the new lads. Needed a place to stay until he settled in".

"Have you slept with him yet?", Charlie quizzed, seemingly sure of the fact I'd had my way with him.

"Charlie…", I hissed.

"What-", She began to speak, interrupted by an abrupt knock on the door.

"Come in", I yelled immediately, my voice high in pitch. The door slowly opened, the room falling silent with only the sound of Charlie turning the pages of the magazine interrupting it. Jordan's grin was the first thing my eyes were met with as he walked in the room, the smell of some sort of glorious aftershave following suit.

"Cass, could you do us a favour and just fasten these cuffs for us?", Jordan walked directly towards me as I turned to him. My two weaknesses stood directly in front of me; Jordan and a lad in a good suit.

"You're like a five year old, come here", I joked as I gripped a hold of his right hand, yanking at the cuff. He sat down on the bed, the back of his hand dropping to my thigh as I continued to work. I tried to suss out his agenda as I looked at him directly in the eyes. I couldn't figure out what he was trying to do.

"Ahem", I interrupted the stare down he was giving me, "Charlie, this is Jordan.. Jordan, Charlie".

"Y'alright?", Jordan questioned her as she didn't remove her eyes from the magazine.

"Hmm, so so. I'll feel better once you two stop eye fucking each other", Charlie shrugged, cool as you like. My heart sank, my palms becoming sweating as I kept a clasp on his cuff, before slowly fastening the cufflink.

An awkward silence fell over the room as I finished up fastening Jordan's cuffs. We had nothing to hide, did we? So we had a little kissing session in the bathroom, but that was it? Sure there was heat, maybe a little sexual tension but I believed Charlie was making something out of nothing…

"Cheers Cass", Jordan gripped my hand, squeezing it tight in apprecation as he looked at me and smiled.

"No problem", I returned, a grin present as my lips as I felt him staring.

"Are you girls going to be at the match?", Jordan asked as he headed for the door.

"Hmhmm", I nodded as he turned to look as he left.

"Nice one", He gazed at me for a second, biting on his bottom lip and winking as he left. I couldn't deny how much power he had over me, and the fact he knew exactly that was driving me insane.

"Thanks for that Charlie", Sarcasm dripped from my comment as I sat back on the bed.

"Yeah well.. now I know you definitely haven't had sex", Charlie muttered as she pushed the magazine off the bed and sat up in front of me.

"How so?", I questioned her theory as I twiddled my thumbs.

"The sexual tension between you two, and don't even try to lie to me that there wasn't any…".


	7. CHAPTER 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

* * *

The Merseyside weather was perfect that afternoon; the sun beaming down on the stadium, the fans in full array and that familiar buzz circling the Anfield area as time was slowly nearing kick-off.

"Do you even know where you're going?", Charlie hissed as I kept a firm grip on her hand, pulling her along behind me as we made our way around the back of the stadium. The stewards were already getting to work, making sure crowds were under control and that everyone got to the place they had to be. However, being the stubborn arse that I was known as, I decided against asking for help, knowing I'd been to this stadium multiple times prior and that I should really know it like the back of my hand.

Dragging Charlie behind me, I turned to the players enterance, swiftly entering as not to draw any unwanted attention.

"Charlie will you hurr-", The thud that followed was enough to shake my balance, forcing me backwards and into the hands of my best friend as she stood shocked and breathing heavy.

"Do you mind?", I turned to look at the person that felt the brunt force of the collision; her hair immaculate, her teeth pearly white and skin glowing.

"I'm so sorry", I sighed as I put my hand to my chest, trying to emphasize my sincerity as she stood in all her glory, dressed up to the nines.

"You will be..", She frowned before moving to the otherside of the narrow hall, her heels clattering with the stone floor and the intoxicating amount of perfume she was wearing was enough to further shake my balance.

"I said sorry didn't I?", I was never one to respond when picked at, usually leaving it to die down so I didn't have to make the effort to argue.

"What did you say?", She turned her entire being towards me, all 100lbs of her. The only thing dominant about how she looked was the scary amount of make up around her eyes and the height she gained from the platform heels she was occupying. All of it was some comparison to my skinny jeans, football shirt and pumps.

"What? Now you're being ridiculous", I started to walk off, Charlie in tow, heading for the narrow corridor that lead to the changing rooms.

"Look at you, thinking you're all that with your tacky blonde hair extensions and spotty complexion", I tried not to let it bother me as I continued to walk, not turning my head or an ear to listen as Charlie walked by my side this time.

"Don't listen to her bird. She might be stunning to look at, but I bet she has the personality of a spoon..", I heard a whisper in my ear as we reached the end of the red and tastefully decorated corridor. As much as I respected Charlie and usually took her word, I was already hurting. All of my flaws that I hated about myself had been exposed, and somebody else thought they were flaws too.

I waited as Charlie knocked slowly on the door, something I usually did myself but I was too busy thinking about the hate I'd recieved as my mind began to wonder. Sure I had a spotty complexion; It was something I'd inherited from my fathers side, something I couldn't change. Sure I wore extensions; My hair only grew to a certain length and halted. Again, something I couldn't change. As strong as I tried to be about the situation, I knew these were things that I couldn't change, and I hated it. _I hated myself_.

"Cass?", Martin's voice broke my thinking, drawing my attention to him as he stood in the doorway, wearing only the trousers to his team suit.

"Sorry, I'm completely out of it today..", I lied, as I tried to forget for a few moments and focus on Martin.

"Your tickets are in there", Martin handed over a white envelope to Charlie, "Go easy on the alcohol girls.. At least save the partying for tonight".

Martin started to head back into the dressing room as I raised my hand to tap him on the shoulder, "Good luck".

He lifted his hand to his mouth, planting a kiss on the tips of his fingers before blowing in my direction. In all the madness of Jordan, and having Charlie over I had completely forgot about the evenings plans. Martin had been nattering on about it for the past few days, ever since Jordan had moved in.

"What did Martin mean about the alcohol and tonight?", Charlie quizzed as she clasped my hand, walking beside me again as we headed down another narrow tunnel.

"I really should have mentioned it to you earlier, but I've only just remembered myself", I started as we pushed out way through double doors, only to be met with another corridor. This time, it was full of people from the press and journalists, probably waiting for their turn to grill the manager and players to their wits end.

"Go on..", Charlie coaxed me.

"So basically, it's the players welcoming party tonight. I've told you about it before, haven't I?", She nodded, "Well, it's usually a fun night, and it's an open bar so, win win".

"Why haven't you invited me to this type of thing before? Me, free booze and sexy men go together like bread, butter and ham", I burst out into a fit of laughter, the truth of Charlie's latter comment enough to draw tears, "What?".

I simply shrugged as I continued laughing, aware that we were now heading for the steps that would take us to our seats.

It always had me in a state of awe; reaching the top of the stairs at any side of the stadium always sent shivers down my spine. Anfield was quieter than I was used to, as I usually mixed in with the fans and turned up with twenty minutes to kick off. I checked my phone, the huge white digits on the screen telling me it was almost 2pm.

"So, are you going to tell me what has or what hasn't happened between you and the new kid?", Charlie stopped immediately on the back row of seats, sitting down on the first seat, indicating that I had to squeeze in next to her.

"Nothing has happened, Charlie..", I tried to sound assuring, my voice turning out high and pitchy.

"Yes, and I love religion. Now..", Her head tilted forward, her eyebrows raising in emphasis as she turned to me, trying her hardest to get something out of me. I, on the other hand, watched as the stewards stood in bundles at the corners of the pitch, ready to direct fans to their designated seats.

"It has gone no further than a kiss..", I knew saying it would further increase the likelihood that I'd spill. But, was there really anything to spill?

"I knew it!", I turned my attention to her for a second, "And you definitely want to ride his penis..".

"Charlie!", I screeched, her voice louder than I wanted it to be as she stated her opinion, as my eyes shot round to see if there was anyone about.

"What? The sexual tension will be there until it happens so.. until then.. I know that's all you'll be thinking about", _Well, NOW it was_.

It wasn't long before the stadium began to fill with spectators, most occupying the red of Liverpool, some white for the third kit, and like me and Charlie, black for the away kit. Checking my watch again, knowing it had been a few minutes since Charlie had spoke; the digits on the screen reading 14:15pm.

"Now this is what I came for…", Charlie joked as her eyes dropped to the tunnel, players from the home team and away team making their way out for the warm up, "Time for some arse and thighs".


	8. CHAPTER 8

CHAPTER EIGHT

* * *

"Good evening ladies and gents, and welcome to the 2011 player welcoming party in association with WWF. Tonight, we are going to celebrate the arrival of the new players, the previous season, as well as auction off multiple once in a lifetime gifts and opportunities to raise money for the World Wildlife Federation. First of all, please welcome to the stage, the director of football at Liverpool Football Club, Mr Damien Comolli".

I'd become quite accustomed to remembering names and faces at the club over the years, and Martin was always talking about the latest stories flying around the changing rooms and newspapers so I was always up to date with the ins and outs of the team. However, there were a number of faces that even I didn't recognise within the banqueting suite. Given, the room was a lot bigger than I once remembered, and it was the start of the new season so there were bound to be at least a few new faces tottering round.

I found myself throwing back the champagne as the proceedings went on; the fact that it was free contributing to the amount that I had, and my nerves and anxiety practically forcing the sweet but strong liquid down my throat. Numerous people got up to the stage within the ceremony, all with a pre-written speech of some sort. Bar one. Captain Fantastic.

Steven didn't need a pre-written speech to silence a room. That was just who he was.

"We do this every year, you'd think I'd get used to this by now", The captain laughed down the microphone, his eyes sparkling under the spotlight as he looked rather stand-up in the suit his wife no doubt picked out, "Nah, I'm not one for speeches. Even as captain, I don't do speeches. I try to leave all the words in my head, and show what I want from the boys. There's a few new faces tip toeing around the place right now, most of which I've met before in some way or another. And that leads me to the next friendly face that's found himself at the club. I've met this kid a few times before, once playing alongside him for England and others against him in the Premier League. I know there'll be plenty of games in which I'll have the honor of playing alongside this lad… so, do what you's do best and welcome our new number 14, Jordan Henderson".

Of course, up until that point I'd payed no attention to the stage; my thoughts remaining on how drunk I was slowly becoming and whether or not it would be safe to get up and go to the ladies without falling over half of the football team. But as soon as his name was called, my ears pricked up. It was almost petrifying how helpless I was to the sound of his name, and no doubtedly the thoughts that usually accompanied copious amounts of alcohol were soon to follow. I watched him as he walked across the stage; his suit hugging every slight curve of his body perfectly, his trousers tight around his bum making it almost unbearable for me to look and not touch. He'd teamed it with a thin black tie and white shirt and a bag load of swag as he shuffled across the floor. Steven shook his hand, like it was almost his acceptance into the club.

I had to get out of there. My mind was beginning to wonder, my cheeks beginning to burn up as I fought tooth and nail with myself to not run up to that stage and tear his clothes off. Pulling myself from the chair, I took one look at Charlie and Martin as they sat at the opposite side of the table; their attention drawn to Jordan as he began to start his speech.

"So, I uh… I've said this a million times already and I will never get tired of saying it… I knew as soon as the club came in for me, that this was too big of an opportunity to turn down. My parents, both Sunderland fans, told me that I should do what is best by me, and not by anyone else. What is better than Liverpool-", I felt a sudden relief as the breezy Mersey air stroke my skin, cooling me down from the sudden hot flush. Finding an empty space on the wall opposite the hotel, I quickly hurried over to sit myself down in between two hedges.

Starting to regret the idea of stepping outside the building before the night had ended, I tried my hardest to sit in a normal, upright position. My body refused to co-operate, my limbs loose, so failing, I pulled my phone from my clutch bag, and leant on my knees as I forced myself to check my twitter feed.

'** forgetmenot**: I may or may not be sat with some of the most beautiful men in the world. I hate you cassielou'

I laughed at Charlie's tweet, in complete agreement as I began to type a tweet myself.

'** cassielou**: Had a little too much to drink. May be a little frustrated, and a little cold… but #lfc pick the best champagne!'

Dropping my phone back into my bag, I slipped it down next to me and began to rub my hands through my hair. I couldn't help but think about everything Charlie had said. "It'll be there until you do it so..".

"Cassie?", Thought track interrupted, again. I was somewhat relieved though. Dirty thoughts halted.

Through my blurred vision, and my limbs that refused to co-operate with me as I heald my head up to see, I caught a glimpse of him.

"What are you doing out here?", He questioned, his concern evident as he sat down on the small space beside me and I shrugged, "Bloody hell, how much have ye' had to drink?".

"Do you think I'm beautiful, Jordan?", _What? Okay, I'd regret THAT in the morning._

"What? Are you mad?", Jordan began to mock me, his arms wrapping around me tight. Even throught intoxication, I was still a sucker for the smell of men's aftershave.

"It's okay if you don't… I don't think I am either", _Oh God, the pity party._

"What is the matter with you, Cass?", He grabbed my jaw, pulling me to face him as I leant on his chest.

"Could you at least do me a favour?", What favour? What could he possibly do, besides make sure you get home safe, that you need whilst intoxicated?

"Hmhmm?", A smirk appeared on his lips.

"Kiss me?".


	9. CHAPTER 9

CHAPTER NINE

* * *

The room spinning, the alcohol still pumping through my veins and the overwhelming need to vomit; I was a wreck. But I didn't want to move. I refused to open my eyes, or mumble, or groan or turn over in the bed in fear that my body would react and I'd be laying in a puddle of sick or I'd find another part of my body that ached. I didn't care what time it was, or what day, or what year… I just wanted a box of paracetamol tablets, a huge mug of hot tea and a plate of greasy food that would contain enough fat content to last me the week.

Of course, I'm never left alone for too long. _Did they think I'd died_?

"Come in", I grumbled, acknowledging the tap at the door as the darkness was broken by the light exuding from the landing. The tall frame of my best friend occupied the door way, his silhouette only what I could see before I gave up trying to hold up my head.

"Are we getting up today?", Martin mumbled, his voice somewhat cheery; something that annoyed me about everyone when I was hungover.

"Maybe..", I grumbled as I pulled the duvet over my head, "If I can find the will to carry on living".

"Well if you decide to get your sorry arse out of bed, make sure you wake up that piece of meat next to you..", What?. I instantly removed the duvet from my head, turning my neck at an awkward angle to see what he was talking about in my peripheral.

I flipped my body so I could see who it was in full; there layed a fully clothed, and rather disheveled, Jordan. Without a single thought I looked under the duvet, my body occupying only my underwear as confusion sank in. What the hell happened?

He layed there peacefully, his eyes still tightly closed as his head leant to the side. His body was layed out straight on his back, one arm under his head the other across his chest. His shirt was undone a few buttons, his trousers and belt all fastened leaving no path for concern.

"Oh god, I was so drunk last night..", I grumbled as I tried to relive the previous night, "Please tell me I didn't embarass you?".

"Not at all babe. Stop worrying!", Martin tried to assure me as his head turned to the bed next to me, "Morning, lad".

Jordan slowly began to sit up, bending one leg and letting the other fall off the bed.

"Please tell me we didn't have training today?", Jordan's voice crumbled the longer he talked, his accent faltering as he tried to speak up.

"No. Kenny dropped us a text at about half 7 this morning and told us all to sleep in, you lucky twat", It was somewhat shocking to hear Martin use language like that. I mean, it's not as if he never cursed, but he usually saved it for times where he was utterly pissed off.

"Hahaha, say's you… heard you and Cassie's mate last night. All fucking night man..", Jordan started to laugh under the head shakes, rubbing his face as he tried to come around. _What mate? What about all night? What the hell did I miss?_

Were they having a 'guy talk' whilst I was sat there? They did realize I was still awake and that I was in fact listening to their conversation, right? I mean, I was sat up, on the bed, watching the pair of them as they exchanged "banter", if that's what they call it.

"You did what?", I couldn't hold it back as I thought about who they could have been talking about.

"Babe, honestly. We'd both had a lot to drink.. I've spoke to her about it…", Martin sighed as he stood at the door, only making me feel guilty that I was playing the so-called 'mother' role, "Never again".

"Just as long as you don't hurt each other and make it awkward for me, I'm not bothered", But I was. _Cassie, why are you lying? What is it with you and the hiding your feelings?_

"I love you, Cass", Martin grinned, my vision of him had become clearer as my eyes got used to the light.

"I love you, too", Martin raised a hand to his mouth, before planting a kiss and blowing it my way.

Jordan leant over to the bedside table, flicking on the lamp as Martin headed out of the room, leaving the door open behind him. I felt as though I'd woke up in a parallel universe, where everything was exactly how I wanted it, yet it wasn't. Martin was happy, but he was with someone else. Jordan was in my bed, but he was fully clothed. I'd had a good night out and yet I sat there feeling more sorry for myself and my life than I had ever done before.

"So how much do you remember?", Jordan turned to face me, his hair completely disheveled, and dark circles present under his eyes.

"Oh god… you're going to tell me I took my clothes off and ran down the street naked, aren't you?", I cringed as I saw his face light up, his lips perking up into the smile that turned me into a lump of mush.

"Haha, no.. although, I wouldn't have minded.. but no..", Jordan's grin grew into a chuckle as he shook is head, "Do you remember what you asked?".

I honestly didn't. The only memory I had from the night before was getting ready to leave and the speeches made by multiple players and staff before my second bottle of champagne. I shook my head at Jordan, my eyes falling to his as he waited for me to finish responding. His face lowered, his bottom lip tucking between his teeth throwing me completely off guard. The adrenaline began pumping as my heart throbbed in my chest, my palms becoming sweaty against the sheets. Holding back on what I wanted was getting harder as he looped his arm around my neck, forcing me to come closer. His lips collided with mine, his arm pulling me tight against his face, giving me little room to move.

"Cassie?", I halted, Jordan's arm falling from my neck as we gained a little company, his hand gripping mine.

"What?", I grumbled, rightfully annoyed that the one time I was getting something I wanted from a situation was now down the drain.

Charlie's face appeared round the door a few moments later, her hair tied into a ponytail and her body occupying her gym clothes.

"I'm heading to that gym around the corn- I'm so sorry, did I interrupt something?", Her hand flew to her mouth, shocked and hopefully guilty that she'd ruined the situation.

"It's fine…", I tried to hide my annoyance at the matter as she leant on the door frame, "Is there something you wanted, Charlie?".

"Can we grab something to eat later on today? My treat?", Charlie tottered around the room at that point, searching through her suitcase for her deodarant before heading back to the door.

"On one condition?", I suggested.

"Mhmm?".

"Shut the door behind you?", I tried to make it subtle, but it was Charlie I was talking to. Any slight hint at sex and she was on it. Charlie threw a thumbs up our way before letting the door shut behind her.

"I'm so sorry about that-", I started. He looped his arm around the back of my head again, pulling me close.

"Just… be quiet..".


	10. CHAPTER 10

CHAPTER TEN

* * *

"Earth to Cassandra..", The voice of my best friend came over the thumping beat of the music, her hands occupying a tray of drinks. I was starting to regret taking the wad of cash that Martin had forced upon me when leaving the house, as Charlie thrusted four different cocktails into my view.

"Sorry, Charlie", I shrugged as I looked at the gathering of glasses, my eyes flicking through them all as my lips were undecided in which one, "I was just thinkin-".

"Thinking about Jordan.. I know", Charlie mimicked as she began to suck on a straw. I tried to relax into the leather fabric of the booth we had occupied, my eyes locking on the cocktail I had picked out.

"I can't help it, babe", I shrugged again, "Those rampant rabbits are growing ever increasingly tempting..".

"Right, can we think about your sexual frustration later and think about our girls night, now? Enjoy the night, baby", I hated it when she was right. I'd made the effort to actually go out, right? So, the least I could do was make the effort to enjoy myself?

"I think you better get a round of shots in…", The stubborn side of me was holding back on the smile as I suggested it to her.

"Now this is the side to Cassie that I love…", Charlie beamed as she removed herself from the booth, "Be back in a second".

I knew as soon as she was gone he'd begin flooding my mind. He'd been stuck there for the majority of the day; my legs being forced to cross over, stopping any blood from rushing to that area and making the situation worse. I hadn't realised just how bad it was becoming until the day before whilst we were laying in bed and soaking up the chemistry. I wanted to ravish him; completely tear his clothes from his body, and have him right there and then. And whilst I knew it was wrong considering we weren't dating, I still couldn't help but put the thought of how wrong it was to the back of my mind everytime I thought about sex with him.

"The chick at the bar said she'd bring them over…", Charlie beamed as she shuffled into the seat.

"How many did you order?", My eyes lit up as I realised the only time we got service like that was when there was in fact, too much to carry.

"A few..", Charlie shrugged as she thrusted the straw back into her mouth.

"So.. I reckon we act as if Jordan doesn-", Charlie's eyes averted from me, to something at my side. Turning my head instantly, I was met with the face of a stranger.

"Can we help you?", I muttered as I began to sip on the strawberry flavoured beverage, his eyes watching my every move. I tried not to stare at him; his eyes a sparkling brown under the party lights, his dark hair extremely short against his head as he leant back against the leather.

"Yeah actually…", I'd always been a bit of a sucker for the scouse accent, and I'd always found myself going weak at the knees for the wit and charm they were so famous for, "I, erm, was gonna ask if I could get ye' a drink.. but now I'm looking at all of those you've got there and I'm rethinking it".

I couldn't help but laugh at his remark; the situation funnier when it was said with a scouse accent.

"Haha, that's nice", I grinned, my attention turning to the brunette bartender that began to slip the tray of shots onto our table.

"You have a really gorgeous smile, y'know?", He beamed, my cheeks turning an ever increasingly brighter shade of red as I tried to think of a decent response to his compliment.

"And you're really sweet..", Really? _Really?_

Placing the now empty cocktail glass down onto the table, I picked up two shots of what I presumed was Sambuca, and put them down on the table in front of me.

"Do you want one?", I questioned as I pointed at the seemingly never ending supply of shots on the tray.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?", He bit his bottom lip as he reached over to the trap, clasping a shot before holding it in his hand.

"1..2..3", Charlie called as we all threw back the aniceed flavouried liquid; the alcohol content burning my throat as I tried to rid my throat of the sensation.

"So, do you both live in the city or..?", He questioned, his quilted jacket creasing as he rested his arm on the table.

"I do, Charlie here is visiting from university..", I answered audibly, the music seemingly getting louder the longer we sat there.

"And will I get to learn your name or is that something that I'll get after you dance with me?", The cockiness and confidence in his words were wooing me, forcing me to cave in to his scouse wit and charm just like I thought I always would.

"I'm Cassie..", I grinned as I thrusted my hand out in front of him. He grasped it immediately, turning it palm down before planting a kiss on the back.

"That's a gorgeous dress you're wearing, Cassie", His eyes dropped to the lace body-con number that I was occupying.

"Thank you", There was something enjoyable about his compliments; whether it was the alcohol taking effect or the fact I appreciated his words, I was loving the attention. I was loving his attention.

"So.. that dance, Cassie.. ", He removed himself from the leather, standing tall over the table as he stared down at me. I looked at Charlie as she thrusted pointing fingers into the air, gesturing for me to go with him.

"One dance..", I caved, "And you haven't told me your name yet".

"I'm Conor".


	11. CHAPTER 11

CHAPTER ELEVEN

* * *

The sensations I woke up to the following morning, seemed to be ones that I was growing ever so used to; the pounding headache, the aching limbs, the dry and raspy throat. There was no other feeling I hated more than being hungover. Given, I always brought this on myself. The countless shots, the handfuls of drinks that I just wouldn't turn down; I basically deserved how I felt. But didn't we all?

"No, no.. it's alright. I'll see you at 9 for training, lad", my heart sank. The amount of unpleasant sensations increasing by the second as my palms became clammy followed by the knot of nerves in my stomach. _What the hell happened last night?_

"Yeah, we can do that. Tell Rod I'll stay overtime to make up for it, Morgo", I couldn't understand the most part; my headache forcing me to cover my ears to relieve the throbbing pain. My skin felt as thought it was crawling, goose pimples rising from the surface making my hairs stand on edge as I fought off the overwhelming need to throw up.

"See you soon mate, bye", _silence. _I couldn't understand why I forced myself to stop breathing; the last thing the awkward situation needed was for the guy to believe he was laying in bed with a dead body. Maybe it was to try and not draw attention to myself, so that if he left the room I could in fact try and slide out and down to the kitchen without a sound.

Obviously, this wasn't an ideal world and I'd got myself into this situation.

I kept my eyes closed for the next few moments; the room falling completely silent other than the sound of his feet as they slid across the carpet, and the random creek of the bed as he threw on some clothes. Or so I presumed.

I made sure I didn't perform any sudden move, keeping my breathing to a minimum. The room fell silent again for a few moments, my mind ticking over and over what could possibly be happening. Tempted to move my head to see if he was still in fact in the room, I hesitated as I felt the bed move again. He still didn't leave; this time the sound of spraying filled the room, followed by the rather fantastic smell of Lynx's chocolate deodorant.

My body relaxed into the bed as the sound of the door closing filled my ears, relief completely consuming me as I began to take deep breaths. _Why must I always get myself into these situations? _Instead of initially climbing out of the bed, I waited until I heard some sort of front door close, letting me know that he had finally left. Fine to open my eyes, I gulped as I looked around the room. It wasn't my room. _Bloody hell, Cassandra._

The room was dimly lit due to the blinds still being closed. Yet, I could still catch the navy blue paint on the walls and the black accents through the room as the light slid in through the cracks of the wood. The room was pretty big; largely taken up by a wall of wardrobes that I was almost certain must have been half empty. Then again, what did I know about this kid?

I let my eyes fall to the countless posters on the walls; one of the recent Champions League win of my favourite football team, others of players past and present. This kid had _taste_.

As I trailed my eyes across the walls, the thud that I had been anticipating interrupted my analysis of the kid. I couldn't remember a time that I had felt more relief than at that moment. My breathing returned to normal as I slowly pulled the seemingly grey duvet from my body. _Naked_. Sweet. It wasn't the fact that I was naked, it was more the fact that I had hoped he'd just given me a place to stay for the night and that was that. _Who was I kidding?_

Attempting to relive the steps of last night, I looked around the bed. The sheets tussled, the cushions dented and clothes scattered all across the floor. The fact I felt impeccably sick, and unbelievably gross wasn't helped when I noticed the packet of condoms on the bedside table.  
"Why, Cass, why, why why?", I thought. How would I get out of this? How could I possibly get back home and not have anyone know I was gone?

Shuffling off the bed, I was overwhelmed with a sudden moment of remembrance. I stood at the end of the bed, the vision of me and him wrestling each other to the ground as we pounded through the door. His arms were looped around my waist, seemingly not letting go as he tore off my dress.

I quickly reached for my phone as it layed out on the bedside table; **4 missed calls - Charlie**

Without hesitation, I slammed my finger down on the call button, somewhat panicking.  
"Oh, so you're not dead then?", Her rather sarcastic tone wasn't something I wanted to deal with at that moment.  
"My god, Charlie. What the fuck happened?", I held the phone up with my ear as I sat back down on the bed, reaching for my black lace dress as it layed in a creased pile under the windowsill.  
"You tell me. I woke up an hour ago in a bed in some house in South Liverpool, greeted by four reserve football players asking me if I'd like the last of their Super Noodles", I couldn't help but feel I was living the real life version of a Hangover movie, in which I would now proceed to try and relive the past 24 hours to see where the hell everything went tits up. Although it would be pointless; the countless shots and jagerbombs would probably be at fault.

"Where are you?", I questioned instantly, putting the phone onto loud speaker as I went to zip up my dress.  
"In a taxi on my way back to the house. Why? where are you?", I couldn't lie to her, I just couldn't. Besides, she probably remembered, right?  
"I'm in a flat somewhere, with that guy from BaaBars. Well, he left about five minutes ago and I want to throw up and head butt the wall-", My eyes fell to the pillow beside where I had been sleeping; a small, square piece of paper laid flat out against it.

I quickly reached over to grab it, my arms and legs aching.

"Had to leave for work, let me make it up to you, Conor", I cringed as I read out the message, knowing full well how Charlie would react.  
"Eeee, that's dead cringey", Charlie chuckled to herself, backing up my idea of how she'd react.  
"All I need in my state is a less than sympathetic best friend, Charlie", I didn't even address her comment, completely overlooking the remark.

"Fine. I'll be there ASAP", Charlie hissed back, her voice wavering as she came to terms with defeat.  
"Thank you..", I couldn't express my relief, the thought of getting back to the house way too good to let pass.  
"Wait a minute bird… where are you?".


	12. CHAPTER 12

CHAPTER TWELVE

* * *

_"Cassie?", I forced my eyes open as I heard my name being repeated again and again, "Cassandra? Cass?". _

He was the last person I was expecting.

"I'm up", I groaned as I threw back the duvet, wiping my eyes vigorously before using any strength I had in my arms to lift myself up against the headboard.  
"Martin said you're pretty much dead to the world until you've had a cuppa down your throat so..", He grinned, pointing to the steaming cup on my bedside table„ "I tried my best".

I couldn't help but grin at his effort. And when I say grin, I mean smile like a Cheshire cat. I instantly grabbed the handle to the green mug, lifting it from the wood and straight to my lips. Sipping on the rim of the cup, I couldn't have been more pleasantly surprised if I tried. His eyes watched me intently, waiting eagerly for some sort of approval or look of disgust.

"It's lovely", I nodded, shooting a smile his way as I lowered the cup to the duvet, keeping it in my hands, "thank you".  
"Good, good", He seemed to nod to himself, almost praising his work as if he'd made himself proud, "Listen. Whilst I'm here.. I uhm.. I want to apologize for being kind of, AWOL this week. I know me being busy isn't an exc-".  
"Jordan, it's fine. Honestly", I tried to assure him, "I've been busy with Charlie all week so.. don't apologize. It's honestly no problem".  
"Okay, well. Seen as though you're being totally understanding, I'm hoping you'll be totally willing too", He lowered his head this time, raising his eyebrows as he spoke, "Tomorrow, after the game..".

"Go on..", I ushered him as I sipped on my tea a little more.  
"A few of the lads were talking about staying over..", He seemed to be nervous about the situation, his vulnerable state something I had never seen of him before, and for some awkward reason, I felt impeccably bad.  
"Jordan, whatever it is..", I nodded at him, as if to spur him on.  
"Basically, if you're not in a rush to get back, would you wanna get some food, or get a DVD and stay over in London?", He looked at me as he spoke, his eyes pleading with me to answer, "I mean, we don't have to share a bed. I can always book a twin room or a you can stay in a completely different room if you really want to?".

What had gotten into him?

"Are you completely backwards?", I frowned as I looked at him, a smirk etched across my face, "I enjoy being with you. There's no need to take a step back from the kissing, spooning and whatever else has gone on between us. Stop being so nervous".  
"Sorry. I just.. when I've got time to think about things, I over think them, y'know?", He began to chuckle to himself on the bed, his smile one that always had a knack of turning me into complete mush.  
"We all do it", I assured him as I placed the mug onto the bedside table.  
"I suppose so", He began to bite on his bottom lip as he slouched in his position.  
"And.. the DVD sounds great. Definitely the preference", His face lit up again, his teeth showing this time as he seemed to get what he was there for.  
"Okay.. do you have an idea of which ones you'd want me to get?", He immediately went back to biting his lip, something I was tempted to tell him to stop doing out of fear of completely losing self control and having my way.

"Surprise me", I stuck my tongue out at him playfully as I took another sip of tea, before returning it to the table.  
"Okay.. I can do that, I think", He grinned, his face never fully losing a smile as he removed himself from the bed, making his way to the door, "And Martin said try not to be too long. Apparently the boss wants to be down in London for tea time".

He didn't leave right away, instead standing under the door frame.  
"Oh..", Putting one finger up as he swiftly made his way back over the carpet and to the bed, he abruptly placed both his hands on my face, before lifting it to face his, "I forgot something".

Pushing his face to mine, our lips collided. There was something seductive about the way he kissed me, breaking the kiss often to change the position of his head, his face never more than a centimeter from mine. His breath was hot against my skin, his lips immediately returning to being bitten after he'd finished.

Quickly dropping a wink in my direction, he started back to the door, "Don't be long, Cass".  
"I hate you, Jordan".


	13. CHAPTER 13

CHAPTER THIRTEEN

* * *

I'd always been a bit of a sucker for a train journey; enjoying the vast array of views that were on show as we traveled from one end of the country to the other. However, trying to enjoy the view was hard when the lively atmosphere of the train practically tore you away from the window.  
"Are you wanting something to eat, Cass?", Jordan questioned as he sat back against the seat, his head tilting to the seat as he looked down on me. I appreciated the height difference, even whilst sitting. I enjoyed the way he looked at me; constantly looking from my mouth to my eyes and back, before grinning as his eyes circled my face.

I simply shook my head in response, not meaning to disrupt him from the social gathering of players that had occurred around our table. Martin sat occupied across the table, Charlie opposite myself with her sunglasses on and earphones plugged in, trying to silence out the world.

"You just can't beat it, mate", Stewie piped up across the train, tucked away into the corner opposite as his eyes stayed fixated on his laptop screen. Pepe Reina squeezed into the chair beside him, his rather hefty build taking up the entirety of his seat.  
"I just.. you completely amaze me, Stewie", His accent was amazingly thick for the amount of English that he spoke, Pepe sounding rather condescending as Stewie seemed rather enthusiastic about something on his laptop.

"He isn't showing you that warcraft game is he?", Martin piped up, his tone hardly enthusiastic as he rolled his eyes.  
"It's not the fact he's playing a game online against other, not-so sociable people. It's the fact he's called himself King Oraya 69 and he's some sort of midget elf", I hadn't noticed him in the corner until he'd raised his voice above the others; Andy letting everyone know his opinion on the matter at hand.  
"King Oraya?", Pepe burst out laughing, causing the others to erupt around me; their laughs contagious as I tried to stiffle a small chuckle in my seat.

"Don't you laugh!", Stewie shouted, a smirk etched across his face as he pointed at Martin, "Fucking crying your heart out at Marley and Me, you soft twat!".

Laughs erupted through the train again, Pepe's being as noticeable as his presence.

"Alright alright, calm down!", Martin carried on laughing as he signaled hand gestures, "Wouldn't want you to do some night elf shit and turn me into a fucking pixie now, would I?".

I'd never seen anything like it; the banter between all five of them something new to me. Yet, I couldn't help but laugh myself. Their laughs were incredibly contagious, all of them enjoying the same sense of humor, regardless of where they were from.

"And I don't know what you're talking about with the crying, you silly bastard. When we landed in China for pre-season you practically cried the entire tour because Kenny refused to let any of us deal with technology!", Jordan piped up over the laughters, putting his two scents in to what seemed like a Stewie roasting match.

"You can all suck eggs, you wankers!", Stewie frowned at the four of them, grinning like a Cheshire cat moments after.

I couldn't help but feel there was some sort of team bonding session going on, regardless of the amount of insults and swear words being thrown about, it seemed as though they were in fact getting to know each other a little better. No matter how weird the circumstances.

"What do you want, you soft bastard?", Stew laughed as he looked up towards what I was presumed a new face. I arched my body around Jordan to see just who it was, my eyes blurring slightly as I tried to focus on who had joined us.  
"Fucking lovely you lot, aren't you?", His thick scouse accent rang through my ears, his tall dark frame crouching under the height of the train. My heart started thumping in my chest as I turned my face to the window, trying not to draw attention to myself. Just my luck, I thought. Of course he'd be on this train, of course he'd know this team, of course there was always something there to ruin something good. Nothing could ever be perfect, ever.

Sitting back in the chair, I instantly grabbed the set of sunglasses spinning around on the table and placed them onto my face. How long would I have to pretend I didn't exist for him to go away?


	14. CHAPTER 14

CHAPTER 14

* * *

After raiding the mini-bar in our room of everything that I could stomach, I sat down on the corner of the king size bed that I'd be later sharing with Charlie, and slowly began to open the tiny bottles of liquor, one at a time.  
"Did he see you?", She questioned as she tiptoed around the room, hanging up clothes that she'd brought for the journey, not being fussy on where to position a coat hanger.  
"I don't know", I answered, solemnly. The fact he'd showed up again so unexpectedly completely freaked me out, and only made me more aware of the fact that he could show up again. I grew ever increasingly eager to open the first bottle as I continued to think about the situation, possibilities of what could happen or what might happen just pumping through my mind. _Would I be able to go home without anyone noticing? Could I get away with locking myself in my room for the next two days? What if Jordan finds out?_

The unbearable thought of Jordan knowing only pushed me over the edge in terms of drinking the first bottle of alcohol. With the cap already unscrewed, I looked at the name of the liquid inside before throwing it back. Southern Comfort was usually something I drank with a mixer, and had never tasted it straight. When the liquid burned the back of my throat, and my stomach focused on not vomiting in disagreement, I soon regretted the option.  
"Don't let it ruin things for you though, Cass", Charlie assured me as I unscrewed a small bottle of vodka. I hadn't touched vodka since I was thirteen years old. Maybe I was too young to be touching alcohol, but after drinking a full bottle of vodka straight I never went near the stuff again.

I was starting to question whether it was a good idea; I'd only feel incredibly sick and be reminded of that stupid night which was controlled by my adolescence.  
"And you know if Jordan finds out… so what, y'know? You can't change the past", Nice one, Charlie. It was just what I needed to kick me over the edge yet again, quickly unfastening the vodka bottle and throwing back the crystal clear liquid.

"I really like him, though", _What? _  
"And if he's worth it, it'll all be brushed under the carpet. No?", Charlie nodded as she bounced onto the bed beside me, the mini plastic bottles clashing together as the mattress moved.

Quickly clasping a handful of mini-bottles, I shoved them into my cream leather bag before hurriedly getting to my feet.  
"I need to do something..", I insisted as I pushed my feet into my greypumps before hanging the bag onto my shoulders, "I'll tell you when I get back".  
"Right… I'd ask, but I have the feeling if I do, you'll probably ignore me and go anyway?", Charlie was intuitive, I give her that.

Simply nodding in her direction, I set off out of the door, pulling it closed behind me. I didn't really know where I was going, or why. I just felt I had to be somewhere else other than couped up in that hotel room with Charlie and my thoughts.

I headed to the stairs, clambering up two steps at a time until I reached the floor above knowing it was where the team was located. Voices and music filled my ears as I opened the door that lead to the floor, my eyes falling to countless doors that were open and multiple men stood out in the corridor and going into different rooms, all wearing the same clothing. At that point, I didn't regret throwing back the two bottles of alcohol, knowing that confidence would have been low had I have attempted it sober.

I recognized multiple faces as I tiptoed down the corridor; Pepe stood in the doorway of what seemed to be his and Dirk's room, Stewie's laughter filling the hall as I walked past an open door that I presumed was his and Andy's room before reaching a completely empty room with a door wide open. I had managed to get passed all four guys without a single one of them noticing me. Or so I thought.

"Guapa?", His thick Spanish accent stopped me in my tracks. Turning instantly to see a cheerful Pepe Reina staring at me, whilst approaching me fast.  
"Hello", I didn't know how to react, so going with my instincts I basically greeted the guy.  
"I take it you're looking for Jordan?", Pepe questioned as he lent against the wall, his thick frame bulging through the red t-shirt he was acquiring as he folded his arms.

I nodded in response before almost mimicking his movement; crossing my arms over my chest tightly.  
"I believe he's in the shower, senora!", He grinned as he pointed into the room that we were stood outside, the door still wide open.  
"Gracias", I hadn't spoke a single word of Spanish since my last year of high school, and even then I found it hard to remember it. Pepe seemed to appreciate the gesture as he threw a wink my way before turning to head back to his original starting point.

Swiftly moving into the opening of Jordan's room, I stood as I pulled out yet another mini-bottle of vodka. I, again, wasted no time in throwing it back before dropping the empty bottle into the small, square bin beside the dresser. My ears pricked up at the sound of water splashing against a hard surface, the door to my left shut as I presumed Jordan was the one occupying it. I looked around the room for a second; only one king sized bed occupying the room, something I found odd as all the others had two.

Abruptly turning to the door, I raised my left hand and knocked a few times. There was no way in hell that I would have done that without a little help from my friends, Soco and Smirnoff. The door unlocked almost immediately as Jordan's soaking wet face appeared round the door. His face instantly lit up at the sight of me, his hand reaching round to wipe away the droplets of water that were gushing down his face.

Without saying a word, he disappeared for a second, letting the door fall open, my eyes only managing to catch him as he fastened a white towel around his waist. I forced my eyes away for a second, before letting them fall back to his torso. I bit down hard on my bottom lip, clenching my thighs together in an attempt to battle my sexual frustration.

He turned around, turning the shower off abruptly before leaving the bathroom. My eyes stayed fixated on him the entire time, glaring at the droplets of water that slowly fell down his back, almost jealous that I wasn't able to do that myself.  
"Do you need the toilet, Cass?", My eyes shot from his torso to his face, his hair still styled in the same way as always, only with water.  
"I.. I.. what?", I brought myself back down to earth again, glaring into his eyes.  
"The way you're stood.. It's free to u-", I felt painfully awkward as I interrupted him talking.  
"No, no. I just… right", I stood and thought for a second; what the hell was I even doing there?, "I don't even know why I'm here".


	15. CHAPTER 15

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

* * *

He gave me the most complete look of confusion before sitting on the corner of the bed. Without hesitation or a second thought, his arms reached to my hips pulling me towards him as his legs separated, pulling the towel open. It surprised me that he was the same height as me whilst sitting, his torso still dripping.  
"How come you're in here on your own?", I questioned as I thought about how silent it had become.  
"I asked the front desk if they could sort it out for me", His eyes lingered up and down my front, his bottom lip tucking between his teeth as he concentrated hard.  
"Why do you wanna be on your own?", It was wierd that I started to feel incredibly guilty; my emotions running high as the alcohol continued to take effect.  
"I want to be on my own with you", _Oh_.

I didn't respond verbally; my cheeks flushing a light crimson as I hid my face in embarrassment.  
"I-.. Well.. Uhm-", I choked.  
"It's alright. The colour of your cheeks and the fact you can't look me in the eyes is enough", He grinned, his eyes lighting up. Even when under the influence I couldn't hide my overwhelming sexual need for him.

I lifted my eyes from staring at the towel, his face still etched with a grin as his hands found their way down to the back of my thighs, feeling him through my jeans and squeezing them tight as I tried to keep them gripped together. Biting down on his bottom lip, he removed one hand from my thigh before cupping the back of my neck and pulling me close. The alcohol couldn't help the amount of nerves that had bundled in the pit of my stomach.

Almost teasing me, he quickly stood from the bed before tiptoeing over to the door. With one swift movement, he pushed the door shut, turned the lock on the door. My eyes stayed focused on his torso the entire time, his body slowly drying with a few water droplets trickling over his skin. I stared as he moved quickly across the floor and back to being in front of me.

He wasted no time in getting back to it, instantly pushing his lips to mine in a forceful fashion, one of his hands removing my bag from my shoulder whilst the other stayed clasped on my waist. His lips trailed kisses from my lips to my jaw, nibbling lightly at the skin only sending wave after wave of pleasure writhing through my body. With one smooth swooping motion, he gripped the back of my thighs again and pulled me up so that my legs were wrapped around his waist.

He placed me down onto the bed, slowly and softly as if not to move a single hair on my head. His hands quickly getting to work on covering every inch of my body as he pushed himself onto me, forcing a groan to vibrate through his body. My hands were free to roam, instantly finding their way to his bare chest, feeling my way across his abs as they tensed under my touch.

I pouted as he thrusted my hands above my head, pinning them there with one of his hands, freeing up the other. Again, he pushed himself against me, this time forcing a groan from my lips as he pushed hard. It was some relief to feel that, and with him. I'd fantasized about him, about all of him and him making me feel like that.

His free hand lifted up the hem of my shirt, the initial feeling of his skin against mine sending a shock wave through my body, my heart pulsing hard in my chest as my breathing become louder. Laying his hand on my stomach, he turned it so his fingers were pointing downwards, pushing hard against my lower stomach as his hand slid over my jeans.

I bit down hard on his bottom lip as he squeezed me with his free hand, the pleasure forcing my thighs to squeeze tight, gripping tight on his hips. My back arched, my neck craning backwards as I forced myself up from the bed, only pushing my against him harder and my hands still pinned above my head.

"Ahh", He hissed abruptly, hovering over me as I fell back onto the bed. Letting my eyes fall to his lip, I noticed his teeth turning a light pink colour followed by a trail of blood falling from his chin.  
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry", I couldn't help but laugh; my nerves taking the better of me as I tried to hide my embarrassment at the situation. Jordan's face grew in width, his grin taking over as he wiped away most of the blood on his chin.

He stopped abruptly, sliding down to his knees on the floor so that he was positioned between my legs, his torso the only thing that I could see as I looked down. His hands slid up and down the inside of my thighs.  
"I need to get ready..", He piped up. At first I wasn't sure I'd heard him, thinking I was imagining him talking as I laid there on his bed.

He raised himself to his feet, grinning from ear to ear as he gripped on the towel that had seemed to undo a little.  
"What are you doing?", I questioned, confused as to what was going on.  
"I've got training in five minutes.. but I'll see you tomorrow?".


	16. CHAPTER 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

* * *

Letting myself fall back onto the bed, I instantly relaxed into the king size mattress. I'd been on my feet since ten o'clock that morning and we were fast approaching 7pm. The day had gone swell; Charlie and I had made an effort to get out of bed early to make the most of our time in London by shopping and the boys had bagged a win, in the form of two goals against Arsenal at the Emirates. To top it off, Jordan and Martin had played the full 90 minutes, something that they'd both, no doubt, be happy about. It felt so liberating to be in silence for a few moments, the only sound filling the room came from the odd splashes of water that I could hear through the door as Charlie occupied the bathroom.

I'd always been a bit of a daydreamer; letting my mind wander to the far adventures I'd like to partake or the things I'd like to try. And this time was no different. Jordan had barely been off my mind two minutes within the month that I'd known him, and the thoughts of him didn't seem to be going anywhere soon. His eyes seemed to be my favourite part.

_Oh, his eyes._

The way they could change your mood just by a single glance, and the flash of a wink that would send my ever brewing sexual frustration pounding.

_His smile._

A million times I could watch him smile and it would never get old. It was as though I constantly wanted to make him smile, just so I could feel myself melting beside him.

"You best not be sleeping on me, C?", I instantly jumped from my position on the bed to a sitting position, my eyes falling to the figure stood in the door way. _Speak of the devil_.  
"C?", I frowned, my expression soon lightening as I noticed the suit that seemed to shape his body perfectly.  
"Well, everyone calls you Cass, or Cassie or Cassandra", He shrugged, "I just want to be original".  
"I can stomach 'C'", I grinned, crossing my legs on the bed as he lent on the door frame, a plastic bag falling to his side, "So, what have I done to deserve this visit?".

"I've just been out to get a few DVD's for tonight..", He raised his eyebrows, his face showing his was seemingly proud of what he had in the bag.  
"Oh?", I looked at the bag again, noticing the giant blue Blockbuster's logo printed across the white plastic.  
"Hmhmm", He nodded before approaching the bed swiftly, his arm sticking out in front of me before he took a seat.

I pulled open the plastic, before reaching my arm inside and retrieving the multiple rectangular boxes that sat inside. Letting the bag fall to the floor, I looked over the plastic boxes, shockingly surprised at his choices.  
"Man On Fire?", I grinned as I pulled away the first box, "Big Daddy? Seriously, have you been stalking me?".  
"I've just been surprisingly aware", His face grew into a grin, his teeth showing as he chuckled a little at my reaction to the DVD's. _There's that smile_.  
"Seriously though, if I didn't like you, this would be totally creepy", My attention fully focused on the DVD's in hand, I couldn't help but feel surprised about the whole thing.

"You like me?", His face was still a picture of joy, his teeth still on show as I tried my hardest to not turn a blushing red.  
"I wouldn't spend time with you if I didn't", I couldn't look at him, my cheeks starting to flush and burn as I kept my eyes on the DVD's.  
"I like you too", I was happy to hear his response, expecting him to get up and walk out without even a second thought. And yet I still couldn't look at him.

The room fell silent at that point, my nerves getting the better of me as I sat completely still, only moving my thumb to stroke the plastic on the DVD casing. Jordan looked around the room a few times, his eyes averting to the bed and back to me, before looking down to the floor. It was sort of… nice. Even in silence, I was enjoying being with him. He hadn't said much, and he hadn't done any extravagant act, but I was still happy being there. There was no touching, no kissing and no interaction, yet I could have sat there for hours. Just listening to him breathe.

"Are you going to be leaving soon, only I didn't bring a towel into the bathroom with me…", Charlie broke the silence, causing the pair of us to burst into a fit of laughter.  
"Yeah… I'll see you later babe", I shouted towards the bathroom door as I removed myself from the bed, Jordan following suit.  
"Yeah, okay. Have fun!", was her last response as we made our way out of the door, grabbing my bag as I did so.

The corridor was thankfully quiet; no distractions or fans in sight that would drag Jordan's attention away from me.  
"You played pretty good today", I forced the conversation as we slowly made our way down the narrow corridor. Jordan kept his eyes on the floor, one hand in his trouser pocket.  
"Yeah?", He turned his face to look at me for a second, a grin spread across his face as he carried on walking.  
"Hmhmm. I especially loved the moment when you were about to tear off Frimpong's head", I laughed, "Charlie thought it was fantastic".

Jordan threw back his head in laughter as we headed off the corridor and began to climb the stairs.  
"I'm glad my-", Jordan stopped in his sentence, turning to the face that seemed to silently join us on the stair well. I felt sick, my nerves rushing through my body like lightening bolts as I tried my hardest grasping for breath. My knees began to clatter, as Jordan's hand reached for the small of my back just as the familiar face tried to squeeze passed us.

"Jordan.. good game today, lad", His voice hit me like a steam train, my eyes not knowing where to look to avoid awkward eye contact.  
"Cheers mate", Jordan grinned as Conor reached the floor we'd just come from, "Where you going?".  
"Just heading out for a bite to eat with some of the other reserve lads", It was as if he hadn't noticed me, his eyes staying firm on Jordan as I stood awkwardly, almost like a third wheel, "What about you's?".

"Night in with C and a few DVD's", Even though the situation had become incredibly awkward for me, I couldn't help but smile that he had stuck to calling me by the newly acquired nickname.  
"Ah, Cassie..", Conor stared at me as he spoke, not blinking or looking away for a single second, "How've you been?".  
"Uhm.. g-g-good. I've been good", I nodded as I looked at Jordan and then back to Conor. Jordan's face was a picture of confusion, his eyebrows creasing together.  
"Sweet, we need to catch up soon, yeah?", He raised his eyebrows teasingly as he waited for a response, my heart thumping in my chest as the walls seemed to grow increasingly closer together.

I simply nodded before looking to the steps below me, Jordan and Conor exchanging a glance and nod between them as Conor headed off down the stairs. I felt relieved as I forced back the need to breath out loud.  
"What was that about?".


	17. CHAPTER 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

* * *

That familiar feeling had returned; my head pounding as I fluttered open my eyes, attempting to shield out the minimal light that had seeped in through the curtains. My throat felt raspy, my stomach doing back-flips as I tried to re-think last nights events. Everything seemed to be a bit of a blur after my third mini-bottle of vodka; something I'd slipped into the J2O that Jordan had acquired earlier that day.

I didn't remember returning back to my room, and I certainly didn't remember getting into bed. Thoughts of me embarrassing myself flooded my mind as I laid there, trying to keep the vomit down. Forcing my hand to the bedside table, I clasped my phone and instantly forced a button to light up the screen.

**1 New Text Message - Charlie**

I opened up the text immediately, worrying.  
'_Because you haven't returned to the room, I'm going to presume that tonight will live long in the memory as the night you finally screwed Jordan's brains out. If not, well… what the fuck were you doing? xxx'_

I frowned at the text, my heart pumping loud as my stomach turned. Forcing myself back in the bed, I lent back to see the back of a familiar head. I presumed he was sleeping, his bare back moving slightly as he breathed in and out. Panicking, I lifted the sheets from my body, looking down underneath to see how many clothes we'd managed to keep on. It was some relief to see that I had my underwear on, and Jordan had managed to keep his trousers on, even with my drunk self in the room.

Removing myself from the sheets, I slowly clambered out of the bed, trying my hardest not to breathe too loud or make a single peep. I crept to the bathroom successfully, closing the door behind me before letting out a sigh of relief. I was practically naked; my black bra and french knickers barely covering anything and only worrying me more about how last night had gone. My eyes had severe bags below them, my skin tone bland and dreary, as my smudged mascara only added to how bad I looked.

Quickly grabbing a little bit of toilet roll from the holder on the wall, I trickled a bit of water from the tap onto the paper before dabbing it under my eyes, trying to remove them of the dark smudges and circles that were forming.

No matter how much I tried to rid my eyes of impurities, I still looked a mess. My hair made it seem I'd been dragged through a bush backwards, as the curls I'd had in for the match had managed to stay in, only the hairspray holding all the mess I'd made in my sleep.

I couldn't rid my mind of worries about the events that could have happened the previous night; my stomach churning away as I tried to force myself to think about something positive.

"C?", Jordan yelled. Or I presumed it was Jordan. Who else was going to call me that? Flicking off the light, I slowly opened the door, to be greeted with a rather gorgeous looking Jordan. I felt a shadow of a person next to him; he seemed to have it all with his good looks and brilliant personality. He had it made, whilst I was me, with my drunken antics and my anxious mind.

Without saying another word he patted the bed beside him, signalling for me to rejoin him in the sheets. I didn't waste any time, shutting the bathroom door before clambering back into the bed. He didn't look any different than usual; not a single hair out of place, or a single dark circle under his eyes.  
"How's that head?", He grinned, waiting for me to lay down properly, propping himself up with an elbow as he reached his other hand to rest on my forehead.  
"I'm so sorry", I looked down to the sheets, almost too ashamed to make eye contact with him as he moved his hand down the side of my face, cupping my cheek.

"Sorry for what?", He began to laugh a little, "I think you're a fantastic dancer".  
"Oh my god", It came out like word vomit.  
"Haha, you honestly don't remember?", He chuckled, "You might want to check your twitter page, babe".

Instantly pulling my phone from the sheets, I scrambled to bring up my twitter page in a frenzy. Jordan's face didn't falter as he watched me open up the app. Immediately opening up my front page, I gawped in horror at the top tweet.

" cassielou: I dare anyone to tell me they're not well jell! #hetasteslikechocolate jE93Djdm"

Opening up the photo, I hid my face in horror. Jordan seemed to enjoy it as I heard him laugh to himself on the other side of the bed.

I was wearing nothing but my underwear; my legs wrapped firmly around Jordan's waist as he sat on the edge of the bed, shirtless, with his hands grasping my thighs. My hands were forcing Jordan's head back, my tongue sticking out profusely and seemingly touching the skin of his neck. How I'd managed to capture a shot like that and perform the maneuver at the same time was something that I'd never know.

Jordan seemed to be enjoying it, in the photo. His lip firmly tucked between his teeth, and his eyes laying shut.  
"I don't even know what to say…", I muffled, my hand over my mouth as the shock of my behavior grew ever more evident.  
"Apparently I taste like chocolate…", He raised an eyebrow, smirking proudly, "Have you checked if anyone replied to that?".

I quickly clicked on the little ' ' sign at the bottom of the screen, waiting patiently as the hundreds upon hundreds of of responses loaded.  
"Charlotte Lane said, 'Yes I'm jealous, but no need to rub it in' and then she proceeded to call me a slut", My heart sank, my eyes grazing over the hundreds of responses as I tried to keep my cool.  
"Alcohol seems to bring out your so-called sluttier side..", I turned to Jordan instantly, my expression not happy, "But I like slutty Cassie. She seems to not care what anyone thinks, and is constantly horny".

"Can I ask you something?", I asked as I placed my phone onto the bedside table, before turning towards Jordan on the bed. He nodded, coaxing me to continue my query.

"Did we…? Y'know…", I tried to force my eyebrows to move up and down aggressively, only for me to completely fail in doing so.  
"No, no. But you tried a few times..", He shuffled on the mattress, pulling himself closer to me.  
"I can't tell you how sorry I am..", I shrugged, crying on the inside at the mess that I'd seemed to create overnight.

"Can I kiss you?", I didn't think I'd heard him right, my mind going through a million things a second.  
"What?", I forced him to repeat it.  
"Can I kiss you?", He repeated it, his lips teasing me slightly as he nibbled away at them.

I nodded, grinning at him, "You don't need to ask".

It felt amazing to kiss him; his mouth working with mine aggressively as he pulled my face closer. I forced the embarrassing events to the back of my thoughts for a few minutes, letting him truly have all of me, including my mind. Forcing me onto my back, I positioned my legs around his waist as he let his body fall on top of me. I loved the feel of his bare skin against mine, his abs flat against my stomach. The little amount of facial hair he had was driving me insane; grazing it against my cheek and my neck as he moved his kisses lower down my body.

Planting his lips on the skin down the middle of my chest, I had to force my legs together in an attempt to hold back any sudden movement on my part. It felt amazing as he stroked his hands down my body, disappearing under the sheets.

Anticipating where he was going next, I waited. Feeling his hands stroke my inner thighs, I felt myself giving into the pleasure of it all as he breathed against my skin.

I couldn't have readied myself for what happened next; the moment we were sharing interrupted by a furocious knock at the door. Jordan began to slide of the bed as my inner knee collided with something hard. _What the hell did we have to do to get some time alone around here?_  
"Shit!", Jordan screeched as he fell to the floor, forcing me to jump up to see what had happened. He didn't waste no time getting to his feet, holding onto the right side of his face as he made his way to the door.

"Someone's looking a little worse for wear..", His voice ran through me like a lightening bolt, the hairs of the back of my neck standing up.


	18. CHAPTER 18

CHAPTER 18

* * *

'_Cass, I know it was going to be hard for you being on your own whilst the lads are down in Exeter for the game, but I needed to head back to see my family before they go away. I'll be back in a few weeks, and we'll finally be able to celebrate you finally reaching the big Two-Oh! I love you, Charlie x_'

I'd always loved a surprise, and been a bit of a sucker for a sweet note that someone I'd cared about had left, but this time it was different. I'd woke up around mid-day to find a scrunched up piece of paper on the marble island in the kitchen. I was alone, the house was silent and the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the trees blowing in the wind outside.

To make things worse, it was only Tuesday. I wasn't expecting any company until Thursday at the earliest due to the boys playing down south in a Carling Cup game. I hadn't spoke to Jordan since I left, and Martin was too busy worrying about his fitness to get in touch. Conor seemed to be popping up in all places, ruining the mood of situation and I didn't fancy dropping him a call for that catch up he suggested.

Deciding the best thing I could do in that moment would be to cook myself a fat filled breakfast, I dragged myself to the fridge in an attempt to bring some joy into my already morbid day. My eyes skimmed over the contents; Martin thankfully had filled the fridge with delights before we'd had our weekend away and my eyes lit up at the sight of the bacon and eggs that sat on the top shelf, delightfully piled on top of the tubs of chicken pasta that I would no doubt devour by the end of the day.

Removing the packets from the fridge, I slammed the door shut.  
"Afternoon", Instantly dropping the carton of eggs and the bacon to the floor, I screeched louder than I ever thought possible. Not only was I incredibly terrified of being on my own in the house, the fact that someone had gone out of their way to scare me only made me more paranoid.

However, it was nice to see him. Spending so much time with Jordan seemed to be effecting the amount of time I spent by his side, and no matter how much I enjoyed being with Jordan, I missed Martin.  
"It's a good job I love you…", I couldn't help but laugh as I saw Martin throw back his head, my heart thumping in my chest as it almost feared for its life. The eggs had splattered all over the floor and up the doors to the cabinets, and the bacon was thankfully new, so I was safe in that department.

Just as I bent over to pick the eggs from the floor, Martin's hand grabbed my forearm before wrapping his huge arms around me. It had felt so long since we'd last done that and there was always some comfort and warmth that came from his embraces. I never felt lonely with him.

"I missed you, beautiful", He grinned as he pulled away, keeping his hands on the small of my back so that he could take a look at my face, "Feels like forever since it was just us..".  
"Yeah.. it does", I couldn't help but smile at him; the way he seemed to appreciate every part of my face with his eyes and the fact he wouldn't let me go, not even for a second, "But don't you have a game tomorrow?".  
"I've been rested", He immediately answered, "So I thought I'd come home and keep you company as I know it petrifies you being here on your own..".

_That was Martin_. Every single little detail about me, he knew. From the cups of tea on a morning to how I was in a huge house alone. He payed more attention to things than I thought was possible.  
"So, why don't you leave all this mess to me, go get dressed and we'll go spend a day in town?", Martin suggested with the widest smile.  
"I don't know… I kinda liked the idea of being in peace..", I teased, as Martin's jaw dropped.  
"Well.. I'll do you a deal", He grinned, licking his lips, "You come into town with me, and I'll buy you those shoes with the red sole and the glitter that you want?".  
"We've resulted to bribery? Really, Martin?", I raised an eyebrow, "And how do you know I even want those shoes?".

"It's the only way I'll get you to do what I want without complaining", He shrugged, "And a photo of them has been my iPad background for the past six months because every time I tried to save it as a photo of Georgia Salpa, someone decided they were having none of it".  
"Oh…", I was, in fact, guilty. I had nothing against Georgia Salpa, but the diamante Louboutin's were far more gorgeous in my eyes.  
"So, we have a deal?", He questioned.

"No, because you know when it eventually comes to it I won't let you spend that much money on me, so you'll win", I never wanted Martin to think that I ever needed money from him, or that I was using him because of who he was. And even on the odd occasion or on birthdays where he'd spend more money than I earnt in a year on me, I'd always feel incredibly guilty because he'd worked hard for it, and he put himself up for constant scrutiny in the press. I found it hard having him let me live under his roof, rent free. I tried my hardest each month to get a decent wage, and whenever I did, it would always go straight into Martin's account to pay for the food and utilities I'd use each month. But I guess, I also tried to make sure money wasn't a problem in our relationship.

"So, why don't you just stop being so stubborn and let me buy you the damn shoes?", Martin frowned, letting go of me, "Besides, it's your birthday next week. It's the least I can do".  
"Martin… you know how I feel about you spending your money on me..", I crossed my arms in a huff, getting worked up over the situation.  
"I don't have anyone else to spend it on", He placed his hands back on the small of my back again, "So, do us both a favor and just let me spend some money on you for once?".

"And if I don't?", I had to say something to mask how uncomfortable I had become.  
"I'll buy you things anyway and just burn the receipts", He grinned, "Simple as".


	19. CHAPTER 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

* * *

"Jesus christ, you _know _how to shop…", I groaned as we both clambered through the front door, my hands burning red due to the bags cutting off circulation as Martin dropped the bags he'd gathered, onto the floor. He began to attempt to catch his breath as he pressed play on the answering machine before I made my way to the steps to remove the boots that were making my feet burn.

"_This is a call from Social Services for Cassandra Milner regarding the care of Myles and Annie Milner. If you could give us a call back on this number as soon as you can.. 0989-_", Martin quickly stopped the message, seemingly prompted by the sounding of my heart dropping out of my arse and onto the marble floor. I'd left Bolton to start over, to escape everything that I had been through in Lancashire, and try to sort a decent life out for myself at least.

"I-uh.. I, I don't know what to say", Martin muttered as he neared me, treading lightly on the hard floor as I stared into oblivion. Martin knew everything, but it wasn't him I was bothered about. I had barely let Jordan into my life, mainly for the fact that he'd probably run a mile if he knew. I knew it'd come to bite me on the arse eventually, my life back in Bolton. But I didn't realise that leaving everything behind was so bad that I'd have to be punished in a way where Jordan would be taken away from me.

"Do you think your mu-", Martin started again.  
"DON'T.. call her that", I hissed, my inadvertent reaction seemingly upsetting Martin as he lent on the side table beside the phone, "You know when I moved here with you, I thought all that fucked up shit would just go.. y'know? But karma's come to bite me on the arse hasn't it? Once scum, always scum, eh?".  
"Shut up, Cassandra", Martin bit back, this situation effecting him more than I thought it ever would, "This was bound to happen. There's no way Myles and Annie could have carried on the way they were with Farrah treating them the way she has".

It sent shivers down my spine, hearing him say her name so quiet and rigid. He knew how it effected me, this entire situation. I just wanted a normal life, and I wanted that for Annie and Myles more than anything. It killed me leaving them with her, with them being only two years old at the time and me being only 17. It was my biggest regret and I knew that it was something I couldn't take back or turn back time for.

"So what are they phoning for, hmm?", I questioned Martin as I got to my feet, the annoyance in my voice evident. He instantly picked the handset from the receiver and dialed for a return call before handing it to me. I felt as though I knew what they were going to say, that my little brother and sister were to be taken into a foster home and that I'd never be able to see them again. I couldn't help but hope that they'd arrested _her_ in all of this too, knowing the amount of shit she'd always get herself in.

"Social Services, this is Linda speaking, how can I help?", the irony that a cheery voice greeted me on the other end of the line made me want to throw the handset at the wall and scream.  
"Hi, erm, I received a message on my answering machine regarding the care of my siblings, Annie and Myles Milner.. I was just wanting to know why this is?", Finishing the question, my hand began to shake against my ear, my stomach doing back-flips as I waited.  
"Ah, Cassandra, what we have here is a set of adorable twins who are looking for a home", Linda carried on, "And, considering your mother has been arrested for possession of a class A drug with the intent to sell, there is no place that they had to go but here".

"First, she's not my mother. This was bound to happen and I phoned you people four years ago when she left needles hanging about the house when the twins were learning to walk", I couldn't help it, it seemed to be coming out like word vomit, "Did you do anything? No. You left me, a 16 year old girl to bring up two babies whilst my junked up so-called mother got high as a kite on cocaine".  
"Miss Milner, we can assure you that the reason Farrah was arrested was down to the long investigation that we'd set up in regards to the care of Myles and Annie. At the moment, these children have nowhere to stay and if we can't find a family member to take them, then they will be put into a foster home until a suitable family becomes available", The thought of the twins in a foster home terrified me to my very core, Martin's eyes not falling from me as the colour drained from my face.

"So, what exactly are you expecting me to do?", I frowned, my anger stirring as I tried to calm myself down.  
"Well, the proposed option is that you take Annie and Myles temporarily whilst we sort out a family that is willing to adopt", Linda explained, only forcing my heart to beat faster.  
"See, the thing is… I live with-", Martin grasped the phone from my hand, forcing it to his ear immediately.

"Hello? Hi.. it's Martin, I'm Cassandra's boyfriend", _Boyfriend?_,"Yeah, we're perfectly fine to take them off your hands. There's plenty of room in the house for the twins".

He started to walk away, seemingly trying to keep my life private from me. I waited, sitting back on the stairs as Martin conversed with the social services, my thoughts running wild as I tried to comprehend even telling Jordan.

Martin placed the phone back into the holder abruptly, causing me to stop thinking and turn my attention to him. I raised an eyebrow, coaxing him into telling me what had been said.  
"The twins will be moving in with us…", Martin started, "They're on their way over with a social worker as we speak..".


	20. CHAPTER 20

CHAPTER TWENTY

* * *

I knew that if I didn't laugh about the situation, I'd burst into tears. And I knew something like this would happen one day, as _she _was always in a bad way, and the twins were feeling the brunt of it. No school, I presumed, not a decent meal and probably not a decent set of clothes due to her spending her child benefit on cocaine and alcohol.

I felt sick knowing how much of a good life I'd been leading in Liverpool, with Annie and Myles being back in Bolton and suffering with her. I wouldn't be surprised if they would never forgive me; I had been painfully selfish in what I'd come to Liverpool to achieve and it seemed I'd not batted an eyelid at what could be going on back home.

Thinking about them for a second, a smile appeared on my face as I thought about how much they may have changed. I hadn't seen them since they were two; almost three years passing since the last time. Who knew what state they'd be in? Would Annie still have the jet black hair that she'd inherited from my dad, or would she now be brunette like _her_? Would Myles still be quiet and shy around new people? What scared me the most about all of this, and the one question I wanted to know was, would they remember me? At all?

"You need to stop thinking so loud… I can hear you from here", Martin grinned as he lent over in the arm chair, the TV on mute in front of the pair of us but neither paying attention to it. I knew he was trying to lighten the mood; the amount of conversation we'd exchanged practically simmering on nil since the phone call ended.

He didn't say another word, but instead moved from the comfort of the chair to the sofa, sitting directly beside me. I felt numb and completely powerless. Martin threw his arm around me, pulling me into his chest tight, as he planted a kiss to the top of my head.

"Stop with the nerves…", Martin breathed, "I'm with you all the way". And I knew that he meant it. I felt safe, all the time with him.

Martin seemed to run off after that, my attention on the floor and trying to think of things I hadn't done. We'd designated the attic for the twins; with it having its own bathroom and a bed big enough for the pair of them, it seemed perfect. I'd already boiled the kettle to make them a hot chocolate when they arrived, and ruffled through the treat cupboard to find something nice for them that would at least take their mind off the situation for a little while. To add, I'd raided Martin's movie collection for every Disney movie that he owned; not only happy that there were more than expected, but a little shocked that Martin owned so many of them.

"Cassandra!", Martin shouted from the hall.  
"Hmmm?", I returned.  
"They're here", He answered, much to my demise. I couldn't figure out whether I was happy or sad about this whole situation. Not only was I getting part of my family back, but also a part of my past. I slowly clambered to my feet, trying not to make much noise as I hasyly moved towards the hall. Martin stood at the door; his back to me as he looked out into the dark driveway. I didn't want to step any further than midway across the hall, my nerves getting the better of me.

Martin dropped to his knees instantly, as I saw two faces appear in the door, followed by another. I stared at Annie for a moment; the resemblance to me was uncanny, and practically flawless. She was smiling, which I took as a good sign. Her hair, thick and to the crook of her elbows, but a very light blonde; something I wasn't expecting at all as not a single member of my immediate family had that gene. She was around the height of my hips, Myles the same. His hair, a thick dirty blonde colour and relatively short on his head. Both of them were pale, and seemingly well looked after as their clothes were perfectly in tact and not a single hole in sight.

"Are you sister Cassie's boyfriend?", Annie piped up after handing Martin her and Myles' miniature rucksacks. I couldn't help but smile as they both stood there; both so grown up and seemingly confident. It was a relief.  
"Now then, shall we stand in the hall whilst this nice lady speaks to Cassie?", Martin laughed, putting a hand out for each of them before coaxing them in. In comparison to Martin's standing height, they seemed so tiny. Much like myself.

The social worker stepped into the hall, whilst Martin waited so he could shut the door behind her. Her face was snout-like and rather harsh. She was at least fifty years old, and by the look of her long skirted suit and jacket she was relatively old fashioned.  
"I'm Teresa.. I'll be your point of contact, whether through call or email on all things when looking after the twins", She stood her hand out in front of me, and I accepted immediately, "Do you have a document that proves who you are?".

I instantly went to work on the set of drawers next to the door, knowing my passport was under the bundles and bundles of envelopes. Martin disappeared with the twins into the kitchen just as I pulled out the maroon colored book from the draw.  
"That's brilliant, Cassandra", She grinned as she flicked through it, "Am I okay to take this, make a copy and send it back to you?". I simply nodded and waited for her to place her remaining documents into her bag.

"Could you just print your name and sign there and I can be on my way?", She handed me a pen whilst pointing to the piece of paper, "I brought a bag of their clothes in along with me".  
"Brilliant", I tried to seem happy about the fact my so-called mother had mistreated my brother and sister and I'd ended up taking them in as Teresa waited patiently for me to finish.  
"That's fantastic", She grinned as I finished, "Now, I'll call you sometime through the week to discuss a time for me to come back and check up on how they're settling and then I'll make regular visits after that if need be".  
"That's fine", I just wanted her gone, trying to make little conversation as I tried my hardest to coax her out.  
"Okay, so I'll get in touch, Cassandra", She muttered as she turned around, forcing the door open fast before stepping out onto the porch.

Instead of saying goodbye, I simply shut the door behind her, wanting to get to the twins as soon as possible. It was odd; now I'd seen them in such a fit state, and knowing they were alive and well, I was comforted. And not so scared. I paraded into the kitchen as fast as possible, greeted by a mug of steaming hot chocolate by Martin who had already settled them onto the stools at the island. They were so angelic, and seemingly happy that it was hard to image them ever going through anything like what they had been through.

"Myles has something to share with you…", Martin teased playfully as he dipped a digestive into his hot chocolate.  
"He does?", I looked straight at Myles as I said it, seeing his attention turn from dipping his bar of chocolate into the hot liquid to me.  
"I think Kelly is a better footballer than Henderson", Myles blurted out after a few moments, my eyes catching his as he spoke.  
"Oh? Did he tell you to say that?", I laughed as I looked at Martin, seeing the smirk on his face as his ego took a boost.  
"Yep", Myles admitted, "But he said I could meet Luis Suarez if I said it..".  
"Oh, he did?", I looked at Martin who seemed deflated that his plan hadn't worked, "Well, I promise that I'll get you to meet Luis Suarez, okay?".  
Myles nodded as I pushed Martin lightly on the arm.

"I like your house, Martin", Annie beamed after a few moments of silence had passed, her comment doing something to help the shrinking ego of Martin.  
"Well, it's your house now too..", Martin grinned, pulling a digestive from the packet.


	21. CHAPTER 21

CHAPTER TWENTY ONE

* * *

I was almost certain that the possibility of sleeping in with the twins around would be slight, but I managed to wake myself that following morning. Or so I thought.

My mobile phone buzzed across the wooden beside table, shouting for my attention as I stirred in the sheets. The house seemed to be relatively quiet for a Wednesday morning with two five year old's, but the constant buzzing of my mobile wasn't allowing me to enjoy it.  
"Hello?", I grumbled down the handset as I rolled onto my back, letting my eyes fall shut as I waited for a response.  
"Morning beautiful…", It was almost as if I'd forgotten about it, as awful and tragic as it sounded. His voice was a pleasant surprise, do not get me wrong in that, but it only then made me realize what life I had waiting for him when he returned.  
"It feels like an age since I last spoke to you..", And it did, "I've missed you".  
"I've missed you, too", He seemed to laugh a little as he said it, "Is there something wrong, Cass?".  
"No, no. I just want you to know I appreciate you.. that's all", I managed to squeeze out into a coherent sentence before ultimately regretting it.

"Seriously, Cassandra, is there something wrong?", He badgered, realizing that me expressing my feelings was out of the ordinary.  
"Am I not allowed to express my feelings?", I stood my ground, knowing full well there was something wrong but not feeling as though it was something to share over the phone.  
"You just seem-", His voice cut off a second as I heard a ruffling and muffled voices. I waited patiently for him to return to the phone before another, far more high pitched, voice could be heard.

"Jordan?", I raised my voice down the handset, "Jordan? JORDAN?".  
He didn't respond, the muffled voices returning before the laughter of what could only be a woman could be heard.

"Cass", He breathed, "Can I ring you back later tonight?".  
"Who's there?", I didn't feel obliged to ask, yet there I was, butting my nose into a place where it didn't belong.  
"Emma, Stewie's sister", I felt some comfort from his answer up until the point where I heard her talk; her tone going through me like a steam train, and that laugh holding some sort of familiarity.  
"Ah, about five nine, long brown hair, tanned?", I described, my tone sort of ironic as I tried to hide how annoyed I was getting at the situation. All I could think about was the opening game of the season, and how obnoxious she was.  
"Yeah..", Jordan trailed as I heard her laughing again.  
"Sounds fantastic, I hope I didn't ruin the fun", I was irate at this point, my blood boiling as my heart thumped hard in my chest.  
"Cassie, what are you getting at?", He sounded serious and seemingly getting to the point where I was at regarding feelings.

I attempted to respond before my attention was drawn from my mobile phone to the opening door. The new miniature additions to the family bounced into the bedroom in silence as Martin soon followed.  
"Jordan, I can't be dealing with this right now", Instantly ending the call, I dropped the handset onto the bedside table before turning my attention to the twins and Martin.

"Do I want to ask what that was about?", Martin questioned as he sat himself on the bed, a huge gift bag in hand.  
"How about you two go and put the television on in your bedroom and I'll bring you both a bowl of cereal?", I didn't fancy telling Martin the in's and out's of the previous conversation with Jordan whilst the twins sat there. They didn't bat an eyelid at my suggestion, but instead slid off the bed and went on their way.

"So…", Martin started.  
"Have you met Emma?", I questioned, trying to get to the bottom of things before I ended my explanation sounding like the bad guy, "Stewie's sister?".  
"Yeah… why?", Martin hesitated as he waited for my response.  
"Jordan rang my mobile a few minutes ago, saying nothing out of the ordinary… and all I can hear is that horrific excuse for a laugh piercing my eardrums…", I couldn't help but feel completely pathetic as I thought through what I'd done and thought.  
"I'm sure it's innocent, Cass", Martin tried to reassure me, shrugging as he let his hand fall the duvet covering my leg.  
"We'll see, ey?", I sighed as I lent back against the head rest, my whole body sinking into the bed cushions.

"I may just have something that'll take your mind off of things though..", Martin suddenly grinned as he opened up the gift bag, before pulling out a red piece of shiny fabric. Laying it out on the bed, my eyes widened as I looked down at it.  
"That could be THE cutest thing I've ever seen..", I beamed instantly, looking down at the miniature Liverpool shirt that laid out on the duvet.  
"The back is even better..", Martin turned the shirt over, revealing the number 34 written under the name "KELLY".  
"You've brainwashed them already?", I rolled my eyes playfully, Martin not having any of it as he glared down at the t-shirt with a look of absolute adoration.

"They haven't got a say in the matter", He chuckled to himself as he placed the shirt back into the bag, "Oh, whilst I'm here, I have something to ask you".  
"Go on..", I raised my eyebrows in an attempt to spur him on.  
"Why is there a message from Conor Coady on our answering machine?", I was 99% sure my heart had fallen out of my arse at that point.  
"What?", I frowned, instantly becoming agitated and fidgety in the bed, "I don-I haven-I don't know..".  
"Jesus christ, Cassandra..", Martin started shaking his head in dismay, "And you're here grumbling about Jordan being with another girl?".  
"How is that the same?", I felt sick, annoyed, angry…

"He has no idea that you slept with Conor, and neither did I, until now…", Martin stood from the bed, almost ready to make a dramatic exit, "How can we be sure there isn't anyone else?".


	22. CHAPTER 22

CHAPTER TWENTY TWO

* * *

pick up the pieces. I couldn't help but feel that Martin was right; that I was in fact a hypocrite and I had no argument or say in the matter. I couldn't hide my feelings for Jordan, and it almost crippled me knowing that he was in bed with another woman, let alone _her__._

__"Cassie?", Myles called from the bed next to me, his eyes firmly on the television set as multiple sports presenters prepared for the Carling Cup game ahead.  
"Yes, Myles?", I didn't take my eyes off the TV either, watching as it showed a clip of the players warming up, my eyes set firmly on Jordan and his lunges.  
"Can we have some sweets?", Another voice piped up at the other side of me; the twin telepathy between the pair almost frightening as Annie grinned up at me.

"Of course", I nodded as I clambered off the bed, leaving the pair of them to enjoy the pre-match warm up as I headed down to the kitchen to gather snacks. It was nice having the twins around whilst the air was awkward between me and Martin. They had such a nice view on things regardless of their ordeal and seemed to enjoy almost everything presented in front of them. And the best part? They didn't give their opinion on a matter that didn't involve them.

I slowly slumped down the stairs, slowly taking one step at a time as not to interrupt Martin and give another reason for argument or create too much noise.  
"You know this is bullshit", Martin hissed suddenly, the sound of Sky Sports playing in the background of his voice as I halted in my path.

"Have you slept with her?", Martin continued after a few moments, "Answer the fucking question, Jordan".

Knowing I wasn't welcome in the conversation, I waited, sitting on the step I'd halted at, trying not cause any noise.

"Yeah well, Cassandra thinks you have", Martin grumbled, "So I suggest after the game, the first thing you do is ring her, because if you don't sort this out, you can forget about living here".

Even though the conversation between the two seemed to have ended, I didn't want to move. I didn't feel I should as I could feel the tension pumping through the door. Pulling my wrist up to look at the watch wrapped around it, I groaned at the time. 7:55pm.

I had five minutes to rustle up the courage, grab some snacks and head back upstairs before kick-off. Pulling myself from the step, I took a huge deep breath, trying to trick myself into believing I was fearless as I started down the stairs and onto the marble floor. I could hear the rustling of plastic as I slid across the floor quietly, nerves present as I got closer to the door.

"_I'll be a fool, for you, I'm sure_", the sound of Martin's rare singing voice filled my ears as I entered the kitchen, "_You know I don't mind, oh you know I don't m-"._

He stopped abruptly as he saw me enter the kitchen, his attention returning to the packet of raw chicken that he had wrestled open. I didn't say a word, but instead headed for the treat cupboard where I went to work in gathering any delightful looking treats that I could muster into one hand.

After collecting a few bags of treats, I slowly closed the cupboard, trying not to annoy Martin as he slid next to me to put the chicken into the oven.

"So, uhm..", He started. His expression was awkward as he closed the oven door, his hands going to work on turning the knobs to change the temperature and time.

"Sorry for earlier", He continued after a few moments, "I had no right to talk down on you like that, and it's really none of my business what you and Jordan are upto".

Without saying another word, he lowered his head to my temple, before softly planting a kiss.  
"You don't have to apologize..", I grinned as I turned to watch him slump onto the couch, "But you might want to turn on the oven..".  
"Huh?", He turned his head at an awkward angle as he waited for my response.  
"The oven… you haven't turned it on..", I began to laugh as he hurried climbed to his feet, returning to my side quickly.

"I have..", He seemed so sure as he pointed to the time on the oven.  
"That's the time…", I chuckled, "Or.. what is _meant _to be the time".  
"See, this is why I don't cook".


	23. CHAPTER 23

CHAPTER TWENTY THREE

* * *

The twins had passed out just after half time; the pair of them sliding slowly down the bed through the game and nestling themselves into my sides, giving me little room for maneuver. After managing to get them into their own bed without so much as a groan in my direction, me and Martin settled down on the sofa, waiting for the dreaded call.

"Can I say again, how sorry I am for having a go at you?", Martin started off, turning his body towards me as he lent back against the sofa.  
"You had every right…", Even though I didn't totally agree with my own comment, I went with it anyway.  
"No, that's the point. I didn't…", I turned my body to face him as I continued to let him talk, "I just don't like it when you're treated like crap and I took my frustration out on you".  
"You really don-", He cut me off.  
"Stop, will you?", Martin sighed, "I just..".

Martin stopped in his tracks, silencing himself before he went any further as he rubbed his forehead. I looked him up and down; his entire body relaxed into the plush sofa as his shoulders moved up and down repeatedly. He'd got into a routine of wearing abnormally, for him anyway, tight shirts that only seemed to tease whoever he came close to.

"Is there something wrong?", I almost pleaded as I shuffled closer to him on the sofa, letting my hand fall to his thigh as I waited for a response.  
"The only thing wrong in all of this is the lad you're willing to give everything for..", Martin didn't move his hand from his forehead, not looking at me as he let his other hand fall to the back of mine as I stroked his thigh.

I frowned at him as I felt a sudden vibrating sensation on my leg, immediately removing my phone from my pocket before looking at the screen.  
"You better answer that..", Martin suggested, "He may have a lot to say for himself".

Before I could answer the call, Martin removed himself from the sofa before heading out into the hall and disappearing. What the hell did he mean, _the only thing wrong is the lad you're willing to give everything for_? Did he not understand that with everything going on with the twins and Jordan that my mind was a swirling vortex of confusion and by him saying that, it was only making everything worse?

"Hello?", I pushed the phone to my ear, waiting for someone's voice to greet me.  
"Can I just start this conversation off by apologizing?", Jordan started, "Last night, I was totally out of order. I really have no idea what I was thinking even contemplating spending time with her and the fact that it upsets you, just.. I understand why it upsets you. I get that you thought something was going on, but I can assure you it wasn't and it hasn't. I like you way too much to jeopardize what we have for something and someone so petty..".  
"I overreacted", I butted in, "I trust you enough, believe me. It's just her, that I don't".  
"I promise that I'll stay away, Cass", He seemed up tight; his voice shaky and almost like he'd say anything to please me, "I miss you, y'know?".  
"Yeah, I miss you too", the smile that stretched across my face after his statement, was enough to make me forgive him. Even if there was nothing to forgive.  
"And when I get back in the morning, I think we should talk..", There was something about those five words that never rang good, no matter what context or mood they were presented in.  
"I'm sure whatever there is to talk about, we could discuss now..", I tried to force it, not understanding why. Maybe it was my impatient side shining through, or the fact that I hadn't had a decent conversation with him in a few days and I was just dying to hear his voice a little bit more.

"We could, but it just wouldn't be the same..", What was it with guys and being hella confusing?, "I have the day off as well so we could maybe go see a film, or cuddle up in bed…".  
"Hmm, I guess", The image of the twins was pumping through my mind, "There's still so much I don't know about you…".  
"Well, seen as I'm all alone in my room, and I have time to kill as my head is still buzzing from the game", Jordan started, "Feel free to ask whatever you like".

"Okay", I thought about it for a second as I laid back on the couch, "Do you like kids?".  
"I love kids", He responded immediately before retracting what he'd said and laughing, "I can see why that would sound wierd, but you did ask".  
"I did", I laughed along with him.  
"I'd love some of my own, one day", Jordan insisted, before breathing heavily down the phone.  
"Oh? How many?", I hadn't even thought about it myself, and only seemed to be asking to continue the conversation.  
"I'd love a handful at least..", He responded, "I really want a big family. The family I have now is so important to me, so to be able to expand it with five or six beautiful kids would be amazing".


	24. CHAPTER 24

CHAPTER TWENTY FOUR

* * *

_I'd forced back the covers, dragging myself to the door front door that seemed to appear as if out of nowhere. Jordan sat across the room, his hands firmly laid out on his legs as he sat on the tatty, velour sofa. There was something surreal about the moment; his eye turning to me as I answered the door. Circles framed them, wrinkles set deep as he continued to glare as I pulled open the huge wooden door. Martin stood there, in the middle of a field of kids as I struggled to breathe.  
__"Cassandra.. Cassandra… Cassandra", They kept calling. Every single one of the thousands of similar looking kids all seemed to scream at the same time causing my heart to thump as they bundled past me._

_"Cassandra", Jordan called from the sofa, "Wake up"._

_I gave him an utter look of disgust before my eyes flung open._

"Oh my god", I breathed, looking into the eyes of Jordan as he sat over me, "W-what are you doing here?".  
I sat up on the bed, quickly looking at my phone on the bedside table and reading the time over and over again in my mind. _4:30am._

"I was finding it hard to sleep, so I caught the last train home..", He explained as I fought with my brain to keep my eyes open. He started removing his clothes slowly; something I would have found incredibly irresistible had it been any other time of day. He kicked off his shoes, before slowly removing his hooded jacket and positioning it on the floor accordingly. Abruptly, he removed his black v-neck shirt before undoing the buckle to his jeans and sliding them off. Regardless of the time, I couldn't help but stare in lust at him in just a pair of Emporio Armani boxer shorts; one's that only seemed to exist to tease the likes of myself.

I was ready to turn over, letting him into the warm side of the bed as I shuffled to the cold, until he dropped onto the bed. Questionably positioning himself above me, he hovered for a few seconds as I continued to fight with my mind to keep my eyes open.  
"Even as you sleep, you're beautiful", He whispered, capturing my attention as my eyes flickered shut.  
"And even as I lay here with my eyes closed, fighting with my head to keep myself awake..", I started, "I'm still turned on by your presence".

I felt his breath against my face he lowered his lips to my forehead; planting a soft kiss to the skin before moving to the tip of my nose and then to my lips. I focused any energy I had on kissing him, letting all the sensation rush to my lips so that I could react to his touch. After a few seconds of enjoying it, he slumped his body down onto the empty patch next to me, before reaching over to flick off the lamp. As the room darkened, Jordan clambered under the duvet; his hairy legs brushing against mine as he closed in on the space between us.

"What would you say to me being your boyfriend?", Jordan pulled my body close to his as he kissed my shoulder repeatedly, "It'd just be like things are now, except more.. exclusive".  
"So, why change it?", I muttered, "I like how things are now".  
"Me too", He interlocked his fingers with mine, "But I also want people to know that you're mine..".


	25. CHAPTER 25

CHAPTER TWENTY FIVE

* * *

After managing to nod off even when Jordan insisted on bickering in my ear about things unknown, I woke around midday to the sound of music pumping through the house. The sound of Adam Levine's voice bounced off the walls as I looked up to the skylight window, feeling the cool breeze hit my face.

"_My hearts a stereo, it beats for you so listen close_", Another voice joined in with the chorus, before I was joined in the bedroom by a soaking wet and half naked Jordan, "_Hear my thoughts in every note, make me your radio, turn me up when you feel low.._".

He hadn't seemed to notice me; making his away across the room until his back was completely turned. Picking up a pair of his boxer shorts that he'd placed on the set of drawers, he abruptly dropped the towel.  
"Nice arse", I bellowed from my awkward position; staring at him as he fumbled to cover his parts so that he could face me with an ounce of dignity. Not covering his backside as he turned, he pushed the crumpled up boxer shorts to his crotch, only forcing me to arch my neck further.

"Don't cover up because I'm here", I was surprisingly up beat considering I'd just woke, "Although, I've seen your arse in those boxers before and it's pretty damn fantastic".  
"So, you get to stare at me in nothing and I get.. what?", He raised an eyebrow; the entire image of him completely starkers in front of me, raising an eyebrow alluringly in my direction was enough to make me sit up against the headboard and enjoy the view.

He promptly threw on the boxer shorts, not allowing much room to see what he had going on before he made his way over to the bed. Positioning himself over me, a grin fell across his lips as he pulled back the duvet.  
"What exactly is this accomplishing?", I shook my head at him, waiting for his response.  
"It's only fair that I bare all… so, you should", He shrugged his shoulders as he hovered over me. His arms were outstretched; the muscle on them evident as I looked at every inch of his body whilst he looked down on me.

He let one hand free; throwing it to the hem of my vest top and yanking it upwards. I didn't fight his wish and quickly removed my shirt, leaving me in my bra. He wasn't done, however. Jordan wanted all but my underwear removed and this time he took removing my shorts into his own hands. Placing himself between my legs, he lifted my hips into an angled position before he went to work on taking off my shorts.

"I don't see the point…", I frowned at him as he threw my shorts onto the floor. He didn't respond right away; returning back to the position of hovering over me before he decided to speak.  
"The house is empty and I'm _really _horny", He mumbled, almost ashamed as he looked away.  
"Oh?", I raised an eyebrow at him as he looked down to the newly formed trouser tent that he was occupying.

He pushed his lips against mine with force, taking me by surprise as I tried to hide my amusement at his ever growing sexual frustration. _The irony_, I thought.

My mind then focused on Martin and the twins and where they must be if Jordan hadn't mentioned them. I couldn't help but feel that Martin already had an idea of what I had wanted to do; break the news to Jordan whilst the twins weren't around so that he could get used to the idea before they returned.

Staring at Jordan as I thought, my mind soon returned to the practically naked being in front of me and the way he was practically seducing me with his eyes.

"How do you usually deal with your sexual frustration?", I managed to say before he started the kissing again.  
"I'm a lad…", He breathed, laughing under his breath, "How else do you think I deal with it?".  
"What would you say if I told you that I didn't want to have sex right now?", I choked, laughing at his reaction as he pulled away, his face not one of amusement.  
"I'd pin you down and tease you until you're begging for it..".


	26. CHAPTER 26

CHAPTER TWENTY SIX

* * *

The smell of the bacon sizzling it's way to edible heaven was only the second best thing that had happened to me that day. Jordan had covered himself in multiple layers of sweat in what he called his "pre-Bolton" workout, and ended up back in the shower for the second time that morning.

It was oddly liberating to have finally had my way with him, or let him have his way with me as it were. He didn't let me take control of the situation at all, and I'm glad he didn't. The pace he was going would have made it difficult to keep up, and we both seemed to have come out of the 'workout' fully satisfied.

"_Baby, baby, baby, oh… baby, baby, baby, oh… thought you'd always be mine_", Jordan's voice came over the crackling and sizzling going on in the pan in front of me as he bounced down the stairs and into the kitchen. This time he'd taken the plunge and actually put a pair of match shorts on, much to my surprise.

"Bieber? Really, Jordan?", I frowned at him as he entered the kitchen, "I don't think I'm happy telling people you're my boyfriend".  
"And I don't think I'm happy with being around you when you're wearing that", He looked me up and down, staring at the thin silky dressing gown as it covered my body.  
"Really?", I retorted.  
"No..", He shrugged, instantly sliding behind me, wrapping his arms firmly around my waist, "But I'm too horny to think of flaws".

"What is _wrong_ with you?", I turned to look at him as his chin rested on my shoulder.  
"We may have opened a gate..", He shrugged, "And it may be jammed".  
"Well, you can either go and oil it yourself or have to wait", I poked my tongue out at him as I pulled the bread from the bread bin.

"But Cassie..", He groaned in my ear, only weakening my argument. His lips found my bare neck; the hairs growing on his chin tickling me as he moved his face across my shoulders.

As he continued kissing my shoulders, his hands pushed their way down my stomach and between my thighs.  
"You really need to stop", I turned to look at him for a second, a sudden pleasurable sensation finding its way up my spine. Freeing a hand, he turned the cooker off, before spinning me round swiftly.

"I blame you for this..", He started.  
"Blame me for what?", I frowned as he went in for the kiss. He stopped to look down; his short tent making a reappearance.  
"I'm not feeding that thing…", I stared at his trousers for a few moments, contemplating what I should do.  
"But he really likes you..", He pouted, sending me into a fit of laughter.  
"Has _all _of the blood rushed to your dick or is that just the way you talk when you need to stick it in someone?", I choked as I tried my hardest to not seem like an utter twat.

His hands found their way to the backs of my thighs, scooping me up so that my legs wrapped around his waist. He quickly placed me down on the marble island, his hands soon finding my inner thighs. He seemed to like the idea that I wasn't wearing anything under the silk gown, his eyes lighting up as he undid the tie that was holding the fabric closed.

"I take back what I said..", He grinned, "You should _always _wear this".

It was almost as if they had radar; the front door swinging open just as Jordan laid his hands on the top of his shorts.

"I.. have.. a few people I need to introduce you to", I muttered in Jordan's ear quickly as I tied my dressing gown back together.

Removing myself from the marble island, I quickly headed into the hall to see Martin bringing in multiple boxes with the help of a delivery guy. Annie and Myles stood watching in the doorway as the pair of men helped each other out with the vast array of sizes that the boxes came in.

"Annie.. Myles", I called from the kitchen doorway, gathering both their attention as they stuffed their faces with Haribo sweets. I waved my hands in the air, signalling for them to come towards me and Jordan.

"Now, Myles..", I grinned, "You know who this is don't you?".  
Myles simply nodded as he pushed a gummy bear between his lips.  
"Hia mate", Jordan dropped to his knees, my thoughts returning to his problem with horny-ness a moment ago and how he'd have got rid of it so quickly, "How old are you two then?".  
"Five", Myles blurted out.

Martin signed for all the boxes, as he tried his hardest to shut the door with them all laying across the floor.  
"Did you buy Ikea?", I looked at him as he lent against the closed door, gasping for breath.  
"I think I may have..", Martin nodded.  
"What _did_ you buy?", I shrieked as I looked around, each box blank on the outside, making it look like we raided a skip.

"Just some stuff for the twins bedroom..", Martin smiled, "Beds, TV.. there's some paint in the car".  
"That's great..", I beamed, "Thank you".

"Good to see you back, Jord", Martin grinned as he looked over at Jordan talking to the twins, "You played well last night, mate".  
"Cheers, lad", There was an eery sense of awkwardness in the air; something I presumed was to do with the phone call that previous evening.  
"If you're not doing anything later, would you mind giving us a hand with these?", Martin continued the conversation.  
"Of course mate", Jordan threw a thumbs up in Martin's direction.

"I take it you two made up then?", Martin tip toed over the boxes slowly, before sliding in between us both to enter the kitchen, "And the half cooked bacon?".  
"We were making breakfast and got a little side-tracked..".


	27. CHAPTER 27

CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN

Hey guys! Sorry for being so long with this! I love you, enjoy!

* * *

I managed to scrape myself from the bed at around 6pm that Monday evening after spending the entire day in the sheets due to my lack of sleep over the previous couple of days. Jordan had beckoned me from the kitchen several times and after hearing him scream my name for the sixth time, I had decide that it was best I remove myself from my bedroom and see what it was that was so important as to drag me from my relaxation period.

"I reckon I've got you the wrong gift for your birthday", He mumbled as I tiptoed through the hall, "A hearing check would be best suited".  
"I've had four hours of sleep in the past two days, Jord", I groaned as I entered the kitchen; my eyes instantly falling to a shirtless Jordan as he sprawled out on the sofa, the TV on in the background, "What do you want?".

"If that's how you're going to be, I'll have dinner on my own", He didn't look at me as he said it, but instead grabbed a half full glass of orange juice from the coffee table before finishing it.  
"Did you not hear what I just said?", I was annoying myself further by having a go at Jordan.

"I understand you've had no sleep Cass, but there's no reason to take it out on me", Jordan began to raise his voice as he sat up on the couch, "God forbid if I wanted to take you out to celebrate your birthday".

I bit my tongue, knowing that if I retorted to his reaction I'd land myself in even deeper water. He removed himself from the couch, before slowly making his way over to the kitchen area to drop his glass in the sink. I stood in silence for a few seconds as I saw him return to the couch, sighing as he did so which only added to the brewing pool of guilt in the pit of my stomach.

Without realizing, I was sliding across the oak floor towards the couch; my heart seemingly controlling my movement as I soon found myself at Jordan's feet.  
"If you've come to carry on, don't bother..", Jordan started as he reached for the remote on the coffee table before returning to his original sprawled out position. Instead of waiting for him to look at me and give me permission, I clambered over his legs before laying down abruptly on his bare chest. He didn't resist beneath me; sighing and wrapping an arm around me as I settled into him.

"Where are the twins?", I mumbled as I closed my eyes; realizing how quiet the house was.  
"Next door watching Monsters Inc with some new toys", Jordan muttered; the vibrations of his voice running threw his chest as I listened to him talk.  
"New toys?", I questioned as I tried to keep an eye on what was going on with this episode of The Big Bang Theory that Jordan had put on as well as voice my interest.  
"Hmm", He started, "They came with me to training this morning so I took them into town for some food and we happened to find ourselves in Build-A-Bear and Toys R Us".

"You didn't have to Jordan", I turned my head up to look at him in a form of sympathy; feeling even more guilty that he went out of his way to buy the twins new things.  
"I wanted to", Jordan shrugged as he looked down at me, "Besides, Annie agreed to call her bear Jordan, so the only person truly winning in all of this is me".

"Ah, of course", I chuckled to myself as I saw the look of complete joy on his face, "Did they behave?".  
"Hmhmm", He turned his face to the TV again, "I took Myles in to meet Suarez as well; you should have seen his face!".  
"Did you take photos?", I couldn't help but feel slightly gutted that I'd missed the entire ordeal; knowing full well that this was the one thing in the world that Myles wanted most.

"Hmhmm", He started, "Well, I didn't. One of the photographers took some photos of them both with all of the players. He's going to email them as soon as he can!".  
"That'll be lovely to have about the house", I grinned; perking up to the idea even though I was still slightly upset about missing the whole thing.

The room fell silent for a few moments after that; the pair of us just enjoying the quiet minutes, cuddling and watching the TV. I'd seen these episodes of the Big Bang over and over before, yet I still kept watching. I blamed Martin for my love of the programme.

"I, uhm..", Jordan started, grasping a little bit of my hair and twiddling it with his fingers, "I have to talk to you about something over dinner".  
"Oh?", I sat up immediately, "And how will you tell me if I refuse to go to dinner?".  
"Probably leave you a note", He shrugged; his relaxed self sinking ever more into the sofa.

I tried to look at his facial expression as he looked at me in curiosity; trying to read exactly what was going on in his head and whether I should expect good news or bad.  
"What's going on Jordan?", I questioned him as looked him directly in the eye, raising an eyebrow. He was up to something.

"I've kind of got to away with the under 21's", He turned his eyes away from me for a second then back, shifting slightly beneath me.  
"For a few days? I understand", I smiled, "That's no issue".

"Cass", He interrupted, "It's for two weeks".  
"What?", Instantly, I sat up.  
"And it's tomorrow morning", He continued.  
"And why exactly did you leave it this late to tell me?", That annoyed and angry feeling had returned and this time I had every right to take it out on Jordan.

"Are we really going to argue about this?", He rolled his eyes in my direction, sending my anger into overdrive.  
"I can't deal with you right now, Jordan", I thrusted myself from the sofa before clambering to my feet.  
"What is your problem? This is my job, remember?", He sat up immediately; attempting to fight his corner.

"That I understand, Jordan. But I'm your girlfriend.. I, at least, deserve to know when you're going to be leaving for 2 weeks and leaving it hours before you leave isn't the way to do it!", I grumbled as I headed for the door, "And rolling your eyes at me will only make me want to hit you!".

I stormed into the hall as fast as I could; blocking out Jordan's reaction as I slid across the oak floor. I'd tried to hide my annoyance at him dragging me out of bed, but the fact he was going to leave it until we were at dinner to tell me he was going away for two weeks, only added to my increasing anger.

Heading into the downstairs bathroom, I let out a muted scream before instantly regretting it. I wasn't in there alone, and the sound erupting from my throat was loud enough for the other occupant to hear. I knew almost instantly who it was; his dark shadow evident behind the shower curtain as the stream of water droplets created a clattering sound as they hit the tiles and the tub.  
"Cass?", Martin called from behind the curtain whilst continuing with his shower.  
"Yeah?", I couldn't run away now, he'd just come and find me.

He didn't answer this time, but instead switched off the shower and promptly stuck his arm out of the curtain to grab the towel that was hanging on the rail. He quickly fixed the towel around his waist before sliding open the shower curtain.

If I hadn't have been holding onto the door handle, my legs would have given way beneath me. I was like a fat kid at a buffet. An alcoholic in a brewery. A pregnant nun... I think you get the picture.

I almost felt like I was watching an episode of Baywatch, yet it was an episode I'd seen many times before and it had taken until now to fully understand it. This was the type of knicker-dropping scene that David Hasselhoff could try to create a million times over and fail each time.

"What was that shrieking about?", Martin moved his attention from the fold in his towel to me. He instantly turned his direction and promptly stood in front of the far mirror above the second sink.  
"Just...", I sighed, "Jordan".  
"What's he done now?", He said it with such ease and conviction; forcing me to think about the last time I had felt like this at the hands of one Jordan Henderson.

When I didn't answer right away, he turned to face me again, ushering me.  
"Did you know about him going away tomorrow?", I questioned; turning my attention to the floor so that I couldn't be distracted.  
"He mentioned something about a game for the under 21's coming up but nothing about going away", Martin frowned as he lent back on the marble top, "Why? Where's he going?".

"It's not _where _he's going, it's when and for how long", I started, before Martin raised an eyebrow, coaxing me to continue, "Not only is he leaving in the morning, but it's for two weeks".

I half expected Martin to react as much as I did; throwing his arms about and storming out of the bathroom to demand an explanation. But all he did was laugh. Laugh and roll his eyes, in fact.  
"Wow", I choked, "I thought, of all the people in the world, that _you _would be on my side about this..".

"Hey, hey..", He began to laugh, "I never said anything about sides".  
"What the hell was that reaction about then?", Martin knew full well how quick tempered I was. Then again, he also knew what buttons to press.

He went quiet again; thrusting his hand into the cupboard under the sink to retrieve a pair of tweezers before going to work on his eyebrows.  
"I just think that two weeks without Jordan could be a good thing..", He lent over the sink as he said it; beginning to pluck away at the stray hairs.

"We might actually have things back to normal for a while".


	28. CHAPTER 28

CHAPTER TWENTY EIGHT

* * *

My birthday had been ruined before it had even started. It didn't help that I wasn't even excited about the day to begin with and the fact that Jordan had already left before I'd woken only had me wishing the day away.

I'd managed to get a decent amount of sleep that evening too; my mind seemingly at rest, regardless of the fact I still wasn't speaking to Jordan and the fact I had slept alone that night due to Jordan going back into his room, only had me more confused as to how I'd managed a wink of sleep at all.

"CASSANDRA?", What was it with people in this house and shouting?

I turned to look at my phone sitting on the bedside table and groaned to myself. _10:30am_.

Rolling out of the bed, I clambered to my feet, pushing my weight against the wall behind my bed for support. I didn't want to get out of bed and I didn't want to leave my bedroom. At all. However, I knew if I didn't, Martin would be up in a flash to drag me out by my feet. Literally, drag me out by my feet.

I managed to slide across the carpet and out into the hall; feeling some sort of pride that I'd managed to get that far. Closing the door behind me, I turned myself around instantly to see a rather disheveled Martin as he'd made his way up the stairs.  
"You're up!", He beamed, completely kitted out in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt.  
"Hardly!", I grumbled, slouching in my position as Martin came ever closer.

Without saying another word, he threw his arms around me, gripping me tightly to his chest.  
"Happy birthday", He smiled as I arched my neck to look at him.  
"Thank you", I smiled back, my eyes falling to his bottom lip as he nibbled away. The room fell silent for a second as Martin caught my gaze. His arms loosened their grip on me, letting Martin play with my hair as he tried to think of something to say.

"We..we..", He started, "We..".  
"Spit it out", I laughed at his vulnerability and the attempt to break the brewing awkward situation. He seemed mesmerized by my face, or something on it.  
"We have the whole day to ourselves", He swallowed hard, before going quiet again. His eyes didn't break my gaze at all.

"Where's Annie and Myles?", I questioned, feeling like I moved the conversation off its course.  
"They're at the open day for that school I told you about", Martin began. What open day? What school?

"I don't remember you telling me..", Then I started to worry. Where the hell had Martin shipped the twins off to?  
"On Sunday night. I told you they were going to the open day at St Mary's?", Martin seemed as confused as I was.  
"What? No, no... you never mentioned anything about it", My few days of being bed ridden had me out of the loop with everything.

"They kept badgering me when they were going to school so I did something about it", He shrugged, "They've been there since 9, and my parents are collecting them at 1".  
"I'm so out of the loop", I didn't even attempt to figure out what the hell was going on, but instead just gave into the confusion and decided to just wait the day out.

"MARTIN?", An unfamiliar voice found its way up the stairs, distracting the pair of us from the conversation. I frowned at Martin; confused as to who was downstairs.

"That's my phsyio!", _A woman physio.. smart, Martin. _  
"I bet she is!", I joked, throwing a wink his way as I made my way around him and towards the stairs. I wasn't expecting to be greeted by her presence until I'd at least reached the kitchen, but there she stood, at the foot of the steps, dressed head to toe in a training kit similar to Martin's. Her hair laid down the sides of her face, in soft waves only making it harder to figure out her hair colour. It seemed to become darker towards the ends, her smile breaking my focus as I reached the last few steps.

"Hi", She grinned, seemingly going shy at my presence, "I'm Esme".

Of course she was Martin's physiotherapist. Why would he have a muscular, hairy man rub him up and down when he could choose the lovely Esme, here?

"I'm Cassie", I grinned back at her, trying to be as polite as possible.

The room fell silent for a few moments, before Martin headed past me on the stairs and into the kitchen.

"I shouldn't be long...", Esme smiled at me before instantly following Martin into the kitchen. I slowly followed suit; wishing I hadn't as I entered the room.

A thin, navy blue mat laid strewn on the kitchen floor, with Martin laying across it on his back. His body positioned relatively straight with his right leg bent and out to the side. Esme fell to her knees, placing her hands directly onto the bare skin of his thigh.  
"Right, I need you to tell me when it becomes tight", Esme mumbled to Martin, forcing a huge laugh on my part.

Martin laughed along with me, causing Esme to fight back her own. His laugh, however, soon turned into him cursing the air as Esme soon found his "tight" spot.  
"Holy crap, that hurts", Martin hissed as he sat up, biting the back of his hand.

I grabbed myself a glass from the cupboard above the sink, before pouring myself a glass of orange juice from the fridge.  
"So, is this what you do for a living?", I questioned as I took a seat at the island,"Like stretch the legs and muscles of footballers?".  
"Hmhmm", Esme nodded as she removed a tube of cream from her huge, satchel bag.  
"And they say there's no such thing as the perfect job!", My remark provoked an unexpected reaction from Martin, who looked me directly into the eyes before throwing a wink my way.

"As lovely as it sounds... it's not all oil, cream and nice thighs", Esme shrugged as she flipped open the white tube of cream, before squirting a 20p sized amount into the palm of her hand, "But you'd be stupid if you didn't enjoy the contact side of it".

Rubbing her hands together, she began to work the cream into Martin's thigh area, massaging in quite a rough fashion.  
"Best thighs?", I didn't care that I may have been asking questions that could have been confidential; I may have had a new career focus at the end of the day.  
"Ohhh", She continued to work Martin's thigh muscles, much to Martin's delight as he laid relaxed with his eyes closed, "Stevie's... by far!".

"Cheers.. Esme", Martin sulked as he heard the winner of Esme's "Best thighs" poll.  
"You know you're my favourite, Martin".


End file.
